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HC Ithaca’s Her Gay BFF: Get What You Give This Holiday

How many of you can relate to this? You’re in bed with a guy and it seems like you’re doing all the work for them. Sometimes it can make you feel useless, as if you’re just a tool for him to release all his pent up sexual energy with. You find you’re struggling endlessly to pleasure him and yet you seem to get nothing in return. As a girl (or boy, no judgment here,) sometimes being the “submissive” one seems like it’s just your lot in the bedroom to stand by and let them enjoy themselves.. So let’s stop right there.
First off, hell no. Sex is between two people for an obvious reason, it’s meant to be a pleasurable experience for the both of you, and not a chore for one of you while the other reaps all the benefits.  If a guy is consistently being a pleasure-greedy hoe with you, then you tell him! Own your own voice, without you he’s not getting any pleasure anyway! If he’s doing something you don’t like, say you don’t like it. If he says you’re a bitch, then he’s not even worth your time.  No man is worth throwing yourself at if he’s not going to make sure you’re enjoying it as much as he is.
Secondly, if he doesn’t know what to do, help him. As embarrassing as it probably is for guys, chances are they know a lot less about what to do in bed then you do. For him it’s easy, it’s not that hard to operate your man parts and for that reason they think they’ve got it down and that they don’t need to do anything special to help you.  If he doesn’t know how to navigate the plumbing he’s not going to say anything unless you draw his attention to the problem. I’m not suggesting you need to be mean about it, but never underestimate the need for dialogue in the bedroom. If you just talk with him about what he needs to be doing to make it better for you, then you’ll both be able to fully reap the benefits.
It’s the holiday season, and sex can be a wonderful gift for that special someone, so as you get into that holiday giving spirit, remember not to forget that the holidays are about you getting something too! I’m not implying to be greedy, then you’re just as bad as them, but make sure this holiday season that you two are making a fair trade when partake in your holiday festivities.

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