Being in a new relationship (or old for that matter) with a bad texter can lead to impending anxiety. Do they not care? Maybe they’re busy…I wonder if they’ve seen it yet…What if they are ignoring me? Too often then not I find myself debating whether or not to double text. However, the cons always seem to suggest that I might come off as too crazy or clingy. Too often I feel pressured to keep up the appearence as the “chill girl” even though inside I am spontaneously combusting from overthinking.
I have since composed a short checklist/tips to decifer whether or it is appropriate to double text and how:
Evaluate the conversation
Where did you end the conversation? Was it stagnating? If the conversation didn’t seem to be going anywhere productive, I typically choose to wait until the next day to reintroduce a topic. If the conversation was still engaging, and they just neglected to respond, I will wait maybe 30 minutes before sending another text adding to the discussion.
Give your mind a break
Put your phone down, and engage with people around you. When your mind isn’t occupied it is more difficult to stress over replies. Don’t let the virtual world distract from what’s right in front of you. Watch a movie, go for a hike, hang out with friends. Chances are, if your S.O isn’t texting you back, they are probably doing the same.
Suggest other forms of communication
For some people, texting is just too much. If you know your S.O is a bad texter, maybe suggest Facetiming or calling once a day instead. Your conversations will be much more focused and engaging and you will enjoy each other’s time (as well as the rest of your day) a lot more.
Communicate (in person)
Make sure your S.O knows that you’re frustrated. Talk the problem out and figure out real solutions that work for the two of you. You can’t expect someone to fix a problem that they aren’t aware of, so talk it out!