I have never really been a fan of reality T.V. unless food is involved – Cake Boss anyone? But the show I have the biggest issue with is The Bachelor because it is everything that is wrong with dating culture today. Other than the fact that the show is strictly heteronormative and very, very white, the show normalizes infidelity and superficializes love into prom dresses and romantic getaways.
No one has the money to sustain a relationship with lavish dinners and expensive vacations, that is not how the real world works. When you take all the frills and thrills aways from these amazing love stories what is left is two people who know nothing about each other. They don’t know what their partner likes for breakfast in the morning, or how they like their coffee, what their pet peeves are or what those little things that make them happy are. If you take people out of their element and put them in front of a camera, they’re going to act differently which means that these relationships are based on people’s T.V. personality and not their true self. At the end of the day, the finalist is chosen out of a pack of side women or men, and the audience is left thinking that the only way to find a partner is by clawing away at the competition.
If I hear one more person complaining about infidelity, and then praising either the Bachelor or the Bachelorette, I will not feel sorry for them for a second because they support a show that bases its ratings off of a man or woman cheating on multiple women or men until the least crazy one is left. Wouldn’t you be crazy if you knew the person you were interested in is dating I-do-not-even-know how many people at the same time? And you live with these people? I do not understand the entertainment value in pinning people against each other for the mockery the producers make love to be. I also do not agree with the sexist notion that it is unpure to have sex with someone until they’re committed to each other. Also, people don’t wear prom gowns every day, and it is unrealistic to make people fall in love in situations that do not translate into everyday life.
My favorite thing is when Bachelor fans are surprised that relationships end. Could they not see it coming after episodes of creating a rocky foundation? Do they not realize that contestants will say and do anything to win? People on this show are in love with the idea of winning, not with The Bachelor or Bachelorette themselves.
Reality shows like this one are entertaining. They remind viewers that their a lot more normal than the drama on the show and also let people project their issues onto a T.V. screen. The danger in The Bachelor or Bachelorette, however, lies in the fact that it monetizes love for ratings and it teaches both men and women that they can play around with others feelings for the sanctity of their own. It is neither hard for the Bachelor to send people home because getting that attached to so many people is not possible and contestants are more hurt about being kicked off the show because they loose their five minutes of fame, not because their heart was broken. Stop thinking that that love on this show is real, it’s is a constructed representation of what love is.