This past Spring semester, I stood outside of a small athlete lot at my local community college, chatting with professors and alumni. I’d practically lost my mind trying to submit a form, to no avail. All laughed, unsurprised of the challenge, and said something that was so simple, yet resonated with the process that is transferring to a four-year-institution, “Getting into the schools you want is hard. But what they don’t tell you, is just how difficult it’ll be to get to the next step. Once you do, it pays off, but it’ll push you to your limits to get there.”
And yet I could never assure myself that every search, video, and forum I’d found had given me everything I’d needed to know. Although application stressors over acceptances are typical for students today, I hadn’t heard many of those stories and pathways I’d been looking for, especially because my parents had never earned a bachelor’s degree.
Within my first month at a four-year institution, I can assure you that I have learned many hard lessons, including the importance of putting myself out there. Although my unique experience as a very creative and driven student seemed to be reassuring, there were always challenges to take on and mistakes to be made. Reflecting on the anticipation, I sit here, one month into my first semester as an out-of-state transfer, feeling the pull of having roots at home and moving into a new chapter without part-time work.
Preparation and New lessons
I had always perceived the typical freshman fall semester had claimed its righteous popularity and had given me just about all I needed to see for what was to come. The nonstop emails, late-night replaying of video tours, planning, and packing. I felt I was set up for success. No matter how many lists, videos, and students I had spoken to, I’d end up with the same question: How can I possibly know what to expect until I’m there? During the begrudging days ahead of move-in, I couldn’t help but wonder what joining Ithaca College as a transfer in the Spring would be like, and truthfully, not much of the internet does either. Despite the obvious solemn themes between the home-sickness–both literal and figurative–and chaos, I couldn’t help but ask, again, “I’m not there, couldn’t it all be a ruse?”
My obvious skepticism lingered the entirety of the four-hour car ride, yet before I knew it, I’d have a key in the palm of my hand and my sights set on my Ithaca College dorm room.
Arriving at Ithaca College
Arriving at school was more anticlimactic than I’d imagined, or at least the initial overwhelm of orientation. With the bombarding sessions, meetings, and meals with other students, I threw myself into bed after the first night, exhausted and near-boiling.
Tossing and turning, despite the beauty and comfort I’d created in my new room, I couldn’t escape the brutal toll the adjustment of my new bed would take. A new, embarrassing lesson learned: the dorms are, and for the majority of the winter months, will be, sweltering. Like “The Princess and Pea” fairytale, my restless sleep allowed for some realizations and how to get better rest.
And somehow, I remembered distinctly talking about just how monumental this moment would be. I’d wake up in the morning, looking at a new ceiling, and, for the first time in my life, completely alone. To be frank, this was something I’d forgotten, when the morning of the first day of classes came, I found myself jumping from the towering mattress, nearly taking a tumble in the darkness. No romantics here, having my new room was humbling, yet a needed space for the weeks ahead.
Instead of all the details of time management, my 14,000 step days, or coursework, knowing the first few weeks of my first semester would be exciting by both the organizations and work to be made, as well as challenging by learning to know how to give yourself your own time, as well as invest in meaningful friendships.
These things can’t be learned overnight, and despite the social parallels between my freshman year as a commuting student, nothing could have prepared me for how different co-living is, especially within dorms. Learning when to go back and get an early night’s rest, fighting off the severe FOMO, and prioritizing small rituals within my days created a warmer environment. Making a coffee before classes was a small form of creating a small part of my home in a new place and setting me up for the classes ahead.
The last lesson, and arguably the most important to me, was learning the value of “putting yourself out there” and normalizing the awkwardness that comes with any new friendship. By getting recommendations from friends at home, pushing myself to attend club events, talking to classmates, and branching out with compliments in the halls, I feel comfortable giving myself the room to get acclimated and have fun, as well as taking time to meet new people!
Although the first month of the semester surely flew by for all, the challenges of my first Spring semester have pushed me to learn how to be better in the semesters to come. I found that although my experience may be individual, learning that my mistakes are inevitable and finding the beauty in the opportunity to move further toward my degree and continue to lay down roots in a new home.