Broken Holidays

'Tis the season to be happy, cheerful and ready to party, or so they say. However, this year, it’s hard for me to fully enjoy the holidays. Losing a loved one during or after the holidays is never easy. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t matter what time of the year it is; the situation is extremely difficult to overcome. There are a lot of different opinions on how you should try your best to be happy after so much sadness, but everyone is different and handles their emotions in different ways. I am sure that whoever is going through this asks themselves the same question: is it okay to move on and enjoy the good times or should we stand down and stay sad? 

Grief is necessary in order to accept the loss of a loved one and move on. However, it is not healthy to stay in that cycle of grief for too long. It is understandable to want to respect their spirit, but think about it this way: your passed loved ones would not want you to stay sad forever. I truly believe that this time of the year is the best way to honor those who passed by just enjoying the festivities. Yes, some people we love are absent, but they are still there in spirit. 

The process of grieving is heartbreaking and hard. It destroys us and our attitude completely. We wake up every morning wishing those who are gone were back. Then we look around and remember the memories we had with them. Although all of that is normal, staying in that cycle is unhealthy, because it is not affecting just our emotions but also our health. It gets to the point where we don't take  care of ourselves because we are too sad to do so. 

Clearly, everyone will grieve at their own pace even when they have the support and help they need,but it is important to understand that there are limits. We can’t build a wall around us that will prevent us from enjoying life. On the contrary, this is the time to make our loved ones proud of how strong we can be; of how even, without them, we will try to enjoy life now more than ever in their name. Which is why, during the holidays, it is okay to go on, party, spend time with family and decorate your house. 

The reason why I’m bringing this topic to light is because these holidays have been a challenge for me to enjoy. About ten months ago, my family and I lost three family members. They all passed on  during and after the holidays. Because of that, I had this idea that we would not celebrate any holiday. To my surprise, almost everyone has been very excited to have something to celebrate,especially when those we lost used to love this time of the year. So, this showed me that moving on is needed. There is no reason to stand down and stay sad. That is not what our loved ones would want. The important thing is to be sure you feel comfortable with the celebrations. If not, it’s okay; that is your way of dealing with the situation, but if you do, spend it with family. There is no better way to get over hard times during the holidays, than sticking together. For the sake of our loved ones, give this a thought. They will always be in our hearts.