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Sex + Relationships

3 Things You Need To Do After a Breakup

Breakups are never easy. That’s the moment when you separate yourself from the person that you shared so many memories, some of them good, some of them bad. On the process you can feel a little confused and alone; sometimes you just want to stay in your room all day or party outside without any regrets. This is all good, but at the end, you’re probably going to feel empty. This is because you just ignored some steps that you need it to take beforehand. Here, I will show you the principal ones.

 

1. Cry

Sometimes we try to stay “strong” and we don’t want to express that we’re feeling sad because we see it as a bad thing to say, like a sign of weakness. That statement is really wrong for so many reasons. You’re not weak for crying or showing that you’re sad, in fact you need that, you need to express your feelings somehow because compressing it will not make it go away.

Imagine yourself as a balloon, a balloon that you just keep pushing air into it without stopping, what will happen? The balloon will explode. If you keep pushing your feelings away you’re just going to make everything worse and you may explode like a balloon. Do something about it. Just take your time, eat some ice-cream, watch Titanic, talk to someone who you trust, but don’t just shut it down. It is important to keep in mind that this part of the process can last a few days, but if you’re seeing that if weeks pass and you keep feeling really sad,you might want to talk to a professional; we don’t want this to affect you beyond the “normal” parameters. Don’t deal with this completely alone.

 

2. Forgive

This can be a real challenge because we’re hurt and the last thing we’re thinking about is to forgive that person, but that’s just because we don’t really understand the meaning of “forgiving”. Forgiving and gettting back with the person are two different things. You can forgive someone without going back to the status of “being together”. When you forgive someone, you’re just letting that hatred go. When you forgive, you will be more at peace with yourself. You allow yourself to be free and continue with your life without having that thorn in your heart.

If you don’t forgive you’re going to stay on a loop of “I know if there’s another person involved” “Gives presents to someone else and for me, not even gum on my birthday?” “We had so many fights and with that person everything is peace and love?” Do you get the point? Just leave those memories behind and continue. Just say “you know what, I forgive you, and I’m continuing with my life, no hate, just me looking for a brighter future.” This will set your heart free.

 

3. Don’t make the same mistakes

You cry, you forgive, now don’t make the same mistakes. You’re at the finish line, so it’s time to look back and see the mistakes that you made. We’re all imperfect so look for the stuff that you know you can change for a better future.

In this stage, sometimes the ex can comeback by surprise and maybe even looking for a relationship with you again. You are the one who decides what will happen in this situation and a good way to start is asking yourself a few important questions: do I still like this person? do I see a future with this person?  and the most important one, why did we broke up?. When you ask yourself that last question, you can decide if it is worth it to stay. If we still like this person, we might forget the real reason of why we are not with them at the moment, and if the reason was a really important one, like cheating or some kind of abuse, we will be going back to repeat the same mistake. And you would stay on that loop  one more time.

Remember, don’t stay on that loop of mistakes, forgive and continue your life in peace, and express your feelings. If you want to cry, do it. But don’t stay sad because it can turn on something else, always look for help.

It’s ok to be mad but don’t stay mad, it’s ok to be sad but don’t stay sad.

 

 
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