When you are looking for a significant other, what do you look for? What qualities or traits are the most important to you? I have noticed people tend to be shallow. They go for looks, instead of qualities. Physical attraction is a must, you have to have that small attraction in the first place, but it isn’t everything. If you’re thinking long term then in 50 years neither of you are going to be hot still. What then? How is your relationship going to survive the hurdles of life? If you base your relationship on looks, how do you plan to make it last? Just last night, my friend asked me this question, “How do you measure a person?” It blew my mind because I have honestly never thought about it. Have you? How do you determine if you’re going to spend your time on someone?
A lot of relationships don’t last because everyone is focused on the wrong things. They care about looks, money, and they’re too busy comparing themselves to everyone else to be truly happy. Personally, I believe happiness should be the number one priority, but I know not everyone agrees with that. Some people tend to put themselves last. They make sure everyone else is good and happy before they even think about checking themselves. Noble, really, but if you’re doing that then you need to stop. If you’re giving all of this effort and in return, you’re getting nothing, they don’t value you. It isn’t about if you’re good enough for them, it’s about if they’re good enough for you.
When it comes to measuring someone else and if they should be in your life, you should always put yourself first.
“Is this person going to cost me my peace?”
“Is this person going to mess with me mentally?”
“Am I emotionally ready to handle this person?”
“Does this person show toxic/ abusive tendencies?”
Put yourself first, know what you deserve, and you’ll never go wrong. Don’t overlook the red flags because you’re trying to convince yourself you’re seeing things. You’re not. The red flags you ignore in the beginning end up being the reason y’all break up in the end. Don’t ignore them.
Find those qualities in your partner that you need and want. Measure accordingly. What makes them worthy of your time? What makes them different from everyone else showing interest in you? Are they caring? Supportive? Encouraging? Strong? Loyal? What about them is going to help keep the relationship stable and reliable? What about them is going to give 80 on days you can only give 20? Looks can only help so much, and they can only go so far. What else do they have to offer?