“Crazy” isn’t healthy. You shouldn’t have to monitor your boyfriend/girlfriend. If they wanted to cheat, they would. With or without your supervision. If you’re checking and waiting for them to mess up, you shouldn’t be in that relationship. If you’re trying to build a long-term relationship, like marriage, you need trust. You have to completely trust your significant other, and believe that they wouldn’t jeopardize your relationship. If you can’t say that confidently, that’s not the relationship for you. I know I jumped in hardcore here, but I truly believe that we need to stop wasting our time on relationships that are going nowhere. If they cared about you in the way you care about them, they wouldn’t put themselves in a position to lose you. If they do, then they’re not good enough for you. You deserve better. You shouldn’t have to constantly worry about who they’re with, what they’re doing, etc. They’re your significant other, not your child. You don’t build relationships off of jealousy and controlling tendencies.
Your partner should never make you question them, or yourself. They shouldn’t be manipulating, gas-lighting, or lying to you. You shouldn’t have to worry, and if you do then it’s just better for everyone involved if you leave that situation. Being “crazy” isn’t how you’re going to keep your relationship. You have to put your faith into this person you want to spend your life with. If you feel like you have to worry then you shouldn’t be in that relationship. It’s not healthy to be untrusting. It doesn’t only mess with your head, it messes with theirs and creates a lot of problems that shouldn’t be there. If you can’t trust your partner, you shouldn’t be with them. Let me repeat that for the millionth time: if you can’t trust your partner, you shouldn’t be with them. Plain and simple. You deserve more than deteriorating mental health because the person you’re with doesn’t know how to treat you right. If they want to jeopardize your relationship, that is one hundred and ten percent on them. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. They’re just not mature enough to handle what you’re about. They’re missing out, not you.
Long story short, if you’ve done the crazy thing then you totally understand, it’s just not worth it. If you have to worry, they’re not worth it. Keeping someone who doesn’t treat you right isn’t worth losing your peace. They don’t want to be kept. You can’t force them to treat you right. You can’t force them to be loyal. You can’t force them to appreciate you or value you. You can’t force someone to be who you want them to. They’ll act right for who they want to act right for. It’s brutal, but it’s true. Someone who really cares about you, wouldn’t do anything to lose you. If they do, then they’re not worth keeping. You don’t deserve to be crazy, let them do them. Someone someday will appreciate you.