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The First Step To Love Is Knowing Yourself

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Illinois chapter.

Loving someone can feel all-consuming.

It may be easy to direct all of your attention to them, whether it be a friend or something more. Give them everything you have to offer: your thoughts, your time and your heart. Going too far too fast has the potential to result in becoming so attached that your entire being morphs into a figure of them. This attachment isn’t a sign of true love… it is a sign that you may not truly know yourself.

be yourself

No matter how funny or nice this person is, you don’t have to become them! Stop caring about what they do and how they act. Take pride and security within your identity because it’s possible to lose all sense of self when entering a new relationship. Letting your mood or personality hinge completely on the actions of someone else is, first off, not healthy, but secondly… not you.

Whether it be career-related or simply regarding lifestyle, becoming someone else won’t profit you in any way. In finding oneself, it’s important to disregard what other people have to say. Do what makes you happy! And if you don’t think that person will support you through whatever decision this is, then they do not deserve to be in your life. If you want what is best for yourself, then you will attract people who will feel the same way.

Know yourself

Not only must you learn to be yourself (and yourself only) and express your personality, but you should also have a strong sense of identity, especially before entering a relationship. As I mentioned before, when you enter a relationship the obvious thing to do is to put time and emotion into it. This is definitely a good thing to do, but it gets to a point where you may be pouring more than you can give into someone else.

Knowing yourself, your preferences, beliefs, and values, is crucial when being with another person because it stops you from surpassing personal boundaries. Limits are set for a reason. Remember that.

prioritize yourself

Love is what everyone looks for. From the time you are a little kid, the idea is put into your head that there will be a time in your life when you fall in love and live happily ever after. As a little girl, I’ve waited for that day. Even when I arrived at college, I hoped I would find the one and that all of my past relationships were flukes. The same thing goes for friendships. The media and society show girls growing old together and having their children become best friends or even begin dating.

However, none of this is worth losing yourself.

Everyone deserves love from another person, but to find this, you have to show yourself love first.

Hi! My name is Hazel Polanco and I am a freshman at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. I am majoring in political science on the Pre-Law track and am minoring in legal studies and journalism! In my free time, I like to go to the gym, read, write, and experiment with different hobbies.