There was a version of me that felt fully formed by the time I left for college, and I was confident that I knew who I was and would always be. Identity felt like something you built up and carried forward. That is not the case. Freshman year was a new world, and I spent my time finding how I fit into it and what parts called to me. My sophomore year, I transferred here, and once again I was finding my place. Now I’m in my junior year and it’s unfamiliar territory. This is the first year where I’m not standing at the edge of something new. I’m not trying to dramatically reinvent myself, but I’m noticing the subtle shifts in my character. Instead of adding layers onto my identity, I feel myself becoming slightly different, and I’ve started intentionally leaning into that uncertainty.
COllege Transition + Second Year Sequel
I came into college very sure of who I was. I had spent my time in high school curating my personality and finding myself. Going into college, that part of myself stayed steady when everything around me was changing. I was on a campus away from home, and had to figure out my place within it. I paid attention to what parts of campus and college life called to me and which people I felt most like myself around. I formed routines that became second nature. Transferring into a new university gave me those same opportunities when my sophomore year started. Both years were about finding my place. I stayed steady at my core and was only learning where I belonged.
still I am
This year feels quieter than the ones before. The newness of this place has worn off now, I have my schedule, my people and my spots. On the outside, things feel steady, but internally, there’s a different feeling within me. I’ve noticed changes in the way I think, what I prioritize, even in my personality. At first, it felt strange. I had always thought of my identity as fixed, something that I carried with me unchanged. There was a discomfort in realizing that I was not exactly who I had been for years. I had no clear explanation and that uncertainty made me uneasy. But slowly, I stopped resisting it.
Leaning into the shift
Once I stopped resisting it, I realized that I could do more than just accept these changes. I could engage with them. Leaning into the shift looks small from the outside, but it’s about making intentional choices to find the person you are becoming. I started exploring old interests to see if they fit who I am now. I let myself return to writing, especially poetry, without needing it to lead anywhere. I signed up for a poetry workshop and it’s been the highlight of my semester. I started experimenting with my wardrobe by adding brighter colors and trying patterns I would’ve avoided. I notice what feels expressive to my inner self and been paying attention to what sparks joy.
None of these changes are dramatic, but they are small ways I’ve been trying to understand this newer version of myself. Leaning into this shift isn’t about becoming someone else, but about giving myself permission to explore who I might be.