There were a lot of things I was anxious about before my first semester of college. Will I be able to keep up in classes? Will it be hard making friends? The one thing, however, I never thought would be such a challenge was maintaining the friendships I already had. This included the friendships I brought with me to college and those that moved elsewhere for school.
At College:
Like a lot of in-state students, I came to college with people from my high school and it has been a source of comfort to have a built-in support system from day one. However, what a lot of people don’t talk about is that it does come with some challenges.
People will change. You are in a completely new environment and you have to change your whole way of life. This is important to remember, because that means things will not be the same as they were at home. Everyone will be coping with homesickness while also branching out and trying new things. So, if you don’t find yourselves seeing eye to eye like in high school, that’s completely natural. It will take time for everyone to settle in and find their rhythm again.
It’s okay to spend time apart. College is all about meeting new people and branching out – embrace it. Don’t let yourself feel guilty for hanging out with new people or choosing to get dinner with a new friend some days. If you don’t hang out with your old friends for days or even weeks, this does not mean you have lost the friendship. You are just taking the time to grow and explore all the new things college has to offer and you should never let yourself feel limited. Your true friends want to see you thrive and will be there cheering you on, and encouraging you as you grow and try new things!
Long Distance:
Not having the choice to see a lot of my closest friends like I did in high school has left me feeling extra homesick some days but I’ve learned to appreciate the small things.
Send each other texts about small things in your day. Getting that notification on my phone from a friend I miss always immediately brightens my day. Keeping each other updated a few times a day or even once every couple of days, helps to bridge any gaps you feel forming because of the distance.
Schedule times to FaceTime and chat on the phone. Texting is great but nothing compares to hearing their voice and seeing their face, even if just for a small part of your day.
Although, staying in contact is great, it’s also important to accept that you won’t talk every day and that’s OK too. Your first semester comes with a lot of adjusting and going days or even weeks without talking, does not mean that the friendship is fading. If anything, you will just have a lot more to catch up on the next time you do talk!
At the end of the day, you can’t prepare for all the changes that come with college, but the most important thing you can do is to keep an open mind and trust that your true friends will be there for you no matter what.