Love is one of the most powerful, motivating drives that humans can experience. The first time that you fall in love, you will be changed forever. Love is a whirlwind of magic and disaster that nearly every person on Earth will feel— you can not escape it.
Loving someone can be a fairytale just like in the movies. My grandparents got married, and they lived happily ever after for nearly 60 years. They got married when they were 20, had four children, and traveled the country together without their love expiring. It makes sense that young boys and girls aspire to be in a relationship where the butterflies last forever.
Love is beautiful— I can say this from a little bit of personal experience. The first time I fell in love I felt like I was on top of the world. It was comforting to know that someone had my back all of the time– no matter what. I could tell that person anything and everything, and they would never judge me. I could laugh with them. I could cry with them. There was no pressure to be anything other than undeniably myself when they were around. I often found myself wondering why anyone would not want to fall in love.
The honest and brutal truth— that I did not always understand— is that love is not always like the movies. Love does not always last forever like it did for my grandparents. Oftentimes in life, you will have to love and lose more than once. I was a hopeless romantic. I could not fathom that someone I loved for so long could disappear from my life in the blink of an eye. I had thought about the risk I was taking with my heart, but the love I felt made it all seem worth it.
I wish I could say that I was prepared to feel the pain of being brokenhearted, but that would be a lie. It hurt knowing that I had to let go. I realized that the amount of time you spend loving someone is extremely short compared to how long it takes to forget them. The songs we used to love became dreadful to listen to. The thought of eating at our favorite restaurant made me sick. The worst thought of all was that they knew all of my deepest, darkest secrets and disappointments, and I would never be able to take them back. It felt wrong that I had spent so much of my time feeling. It makes you want to give up on love.
It took me a lot of time to understand that soulmates and first lovers are not a person’s perfect match. These people come into your life to teach you how to love and be loved for the first time. They rip down your walls and your ego. They show you who you are and what you want. They give you the opportunity to transform your life based on the past mistakes you have made with them when they leave.
Anything you love has the possibility of breaking you, and no one can save you from that. You also cannot choose hate and loneliness because solitude will destroy you all the same. We must learn to let light into the hole that was torn in our hearts. It is better to love someone and lose them than to not love at all.
Feeling the pain of a broken heart is good. It shows us that we tried to love and that we can still feel. Use the pain that you feel to learn to be strong without another person so that no one can take away your peace of mind. Improve yourself. Smile more. Make your optimism come true. The next time you fall in love, hopefully, it will be easier.