Put down the double-chocolate-fudge-mint-peanut butter-coffee-cake ice cream. That sounds absolutely terrible anyway. Turn off whatever Katherine Heigl movie you’re watching for the seventh time. Stop tweeting about how this is the worst summer ever. Stop with the self-pity, and start with the self-renovation. You’ll feel better once you change out of his sweatshirt and put some damn pants on.
Break-ups suck. Period. I don’t care whether you dumped him, he dumped you, his mom’s boss texted you the bad news, whatever. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the first step to getting over him is realizing that yes, break-ups suck, but it’s up you and you alone to get out of the deep, dark hole you’ve been digging for the past two weeks. Your friends don’t want to take you out to dinner again, they’re broke from the last time. They don’t want to read any more Cosmo magazines with you, you get too depressed about the love articles.
So who is supposed to help you get through this? I said it once, I will say it again. YOU! Your friends are tired of telling you how he was a jerk anyway, how you can do better, and how the single life is going to be so much fun.
But if you really can’t handle it on your own, there’s always one more place you can turn. Your iPod. Your new, powerful, always available break-up buddy.
Here, ladies, I have compiled my personal favorite break-up playlist. May it serve you well.
1. “Leave” –JoJo: Though it may not be the lyrical genius of pop songs, JoJo’s hit is definitely one that allows for the scorned to sing at the top of her lungs and let out some frustration. A great song for that beginning stage of the break-up, when you’re mad as hell and want nothing more than to tell that stupid frat star off for all the promises he broke!
2. “White Horse” –Taylor Swift: I will be the first to admit that I think Taylor Swift’s music, at times, is whiny, self-pitying, and everything I hope that women strive NOT to be during a break-up. However, let’s face it, we all need those two or three days of diving into the ice cream and quoting our girl Katherine. But ONLY two to three days. So, this song is for that period of time when you’re no longer feeling so empowered, no loner have the strength to yell lyrics about leaving and getting out, and need to take a second to cry. Taylor’s hit covers it all, from the wishing things could have been different, to the realization we all must come to, “It’s too late for you and your white horse to come around.”
3. “A Little Bit Stronger” –Sara Evans: The best part of any break-up is that day when you wake up, “realize you haven’t cried” and move on. It’s always a process, but every new beginning is. This song is great for that realization, and it reminds us that it isn’t going to happen all at once, but that bit by bit, we will get “a little bit stronger.”
4. “The Warrior” –Patty Smith: Some of us skip that Sara Evans moment and go straight for the tougher approach, and “The Warrior” is just the song for that. “Shooting at the walls of heartache, bang bang, I am The Warrior…” are lyrics that have somehow survived the bad hair of the 80s and made their way into endless chick-flicks. These lyrics, and the others within the song, are perfect for that summer day with the windows down and your voice singing as loud as it can go! YOU ARE THE WARRIOR!
5. “So What” –Pink: When in doubt, Pink. No matter what stage of the break-up, I’ll bet the eight dollars I have to my name that Pink has a song that will satisfy your heart’s desires. “So What” is an anthem (again, to be sung at the top of your lungs) about the realization that a man is not needed to be a great woman. The dance/pop feel of the song is great for those nights when you’re going out with the girls, too!
6. “Stupid Girls” –Pink: This song is just a reminder that YOU ARE AWESOME! Don’t be a stupid girl! Don’t change who you are for any man, even if he is a tall, dark, handsome doctor! Ever! You’re perfect just the way you are!
7. “Since You Been Gone” –Kelly Clarkson: You did it! You finally put down the last spoonful of Rocky Road and called your best friend and said, “I’m better off without him!” You win five gold stars and deserve one big pat on the back. Belt out Kelly’s anthem and bask in the glory of knowing that you are free, and alive, and ready to start your single, independent lifestyle! You can, “breathe for the first time,” and you are “SO moving on!”
8. “I Look So Good Without You” –Jesse James: Now that you finally realize how much better off you are without that boy who didn’t appreciate you like he should, you can put on your favorite party pants and get out of that bed! Do your hair up, check yourself out, and remind yourself, “I look so good without you.”
9. “I Will Survive” –Gloria Gaynor: It’s not a break-up playlist without this gem. Your mom, your cousins, your best friend, you have all listened to this song and sang into your hairbrush once or twice. Hopefully that was about ten years ago, but regardless, you’ve done it. And in this case and this case alone, you have my full permission to do it again. Pick up that hairbrush, turn up the volume, and get to singing. You WILL survive, girl!
10. “All the Single Ladies” –Beyonce: If he liked it, he should have put a ring on it. At this point, you should be out at the club, or in the car with your best friends, or doing something fun for yourself. You know that this is the beginning of something awesome, and you and “all the single ladies” out there are ready to move on, move up, and live your life for yourselves!