Importance of Being Grateful For Former Friendships

When relationships are talked about, they’re normally discussed in the romantic sense. Having a romantic partner is what most people think of when the term “relationship” comes up. When these relationships ultimately fail or fall apart, there’s a lot of advice for these individuals that are usually along the lines of “time heals the heart” or “you’re better off without them”. But… what happens when those relationships were friendly ones? The relationships you’ve developed with your former best friend or group of friends? There’s no guidebook for that and it’s just assumed you get over it. I’d argue a friendship break-up can be more heartbreaking than that of a partner. Despite how the friendship may have ended, there’s a light to being grateful for the former friendship. 

1. It Taught You Lessons

Similar to that of a romantic relationship, old friendships always bring something in terms of teaching us something. In a study conducted in 2017, friendships created in high school have been found to have affected us mentally. These friendships taught us how to establish close relationships with groups and interact with one another outside of our families. Maybe you still have these friends or maybe you don’t, but the matter of the fact is that those we were close with growing up helped us develop our social skills. Our college friends, the ones we have currently, or maybe once had, taught us how to carry intellectual and emotional conversations. These friendships are so important because they were the people we depended on the most, the ones we shared our insecurities with, and our hopes and aspirations with when we moved away from home. If you’ve lost a friend in college, I feel you. It can sometimes feel a bit worse than a breakup because they were the people you were discovering new things with. But please keep in mind that these individuals were meant to be in your life for that particular period. And that’s okay. 

2. It Made Room For Self-Love (Setting Boundaries)

There are many reasons for friendships to end and it’s important to reflect upon those reasons. If the friendship didn’t end the best, it taught us the concept of boundaries and opened up room for self-love. Maybe the friendship was one-sided or it wasn’t a fulfilling wholesome one and you realized that it was not for you. It’s okay to step away from friendships when needed; it may feel a little lonely at times, but for the betterment of your mental health, it’s perfectly okay. These friendships, for whichever the reason was, taught you boundaries, what you like or do not like about the people you surround yourself with. This is not a bad thing; this just means you are showing yourself enough love to step away from toxic, unhealthy friendships. 

3. It Fine-Tuned Your Friendship Preferences

Adding on to my previous point, realizing your boundaries in former friendships allows you to develop much healthier relationships in the future. The quicker you begin to realize the importance of healthful, wholesome friendships, the more love you will have for those around you and yourself. Energy is so pivotal in ways that people may not understand. Protect your energy! Your energy is greatly impacted by the people around you, therefore, it’s not to be given to just anyone. Be particular about the people you choose to surround yourself with! 

All in all, former friendships are influential and they teach us so many things. Reflect on the wonderful memories you had with them and leave the bad in the past; it doesn’t serve you any good now. Be grateful these individuals were with you at that distinct point in your life, but don’t try to drag friendships that aren’t meant for you now. They were left in the past for a reason. 

• friendships
• grateful
• relationship