That time of the semester has rolled around again. The weather is getting warmer, finals are coming up and people are deciding what their plans are for summer. Previously, this time of year has made me feel optimistic about the new season, but now it is a source of anxiety.
Freshman year felt like the beginning of a new chapter. I was in a new place, meeting new people and discovering who I was. By sophomore year, I had fully settled into college life, and junior year has been so busy. I was always comfortable knowing that there was more time. Now, suddenly there isn’t.
When I was younger, I always knew that I was going to college. I went to a high school that was dedicated to preparing students for higher education and it was always the plan for me. The certainty made senior year of high school feel easy. But now that I am approaching my senior year of college, my path is much less beaten. The start of college felt like the beginning of a new chapter, now I feel like I am starting a new book.
Approaching my final year feels like an awkward middle stage. I am still picking my courses for next semester, and I still have academic/social commitments. At the same time, I am constantly being asked about my future. Am I going to graduate school? What jobs am I applying for? Have I decided what I want to do with my degree yet?
Senior year is also delivering a profound sadness to my door. I am sitting with the realization that my college friendships will never look the same again. Everyone will be moving to different cities, starting new careers and maybe going to different schools. I will never have all my friends a block away again, “my roommate” will become “my college roommate” and the friends who I ask to meet at Target may live across the country. I spent much of my life hearing that college is the “best time of your life”, so what am I supposed to do now that it is ending?
Despite my fear and sadness, I want to spend my senior year making the most of it, not just worrying about what comes next. To all my classmates, do not spend so much time worrying about the future that you forget to be in the present. I will spend the next year saying yes to plans, taking pictures and appreciating the routines of college life. Because if my time here has taught me one thing, it is that those small, ordinary moments end up being the ones you want to remember.
Even though my time here is almost over, I will move forward knowing that despite what some people say, my best years are certainly not behind me, and I am excited to meet the adult I am going to become.