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Fourth Edition: Ask a Bro

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Illinois chapter.

Her Campus: Why does a guy say they want to hang out in the moment and then not text me the next day?

Bro: There could be many reasons, but I think the two most likely are either he really didn’t like your response to him talking to you about hanging out, or that he heard something afterwards about you that turned him off. These are the two most likely in my experience that I know in these situations. Something like “Yeah, I asked Kelly to hang out sometime, and she said yeah but then told me she was really busy this week.” Most guys would take that as being blown off or the girl not being interested even if it was 100% true. Or, if I was talking to a girl somewhere and one of my friends who knew her saw, he would definitely make it a point to let me know some dirt on her. I find these the two most likely scenarios, but I suppose there is always the option that he just got busy with class.

HC: When are you the rebound, and when are you in the clear?

Bro: I don’t think that it is a time thing. I don’t want to tell you that after two weeks or a month you’re all good, but you’re a rebound if he’s still seriously talking to his ex. Any guy that gets out of a relationship and is still talking heavily to his ex is going to treat pretty much any other girl he hooks up with as a rebound. He likely isn’t going to give her much of a chance. That being said, many guys can exit a relationship and get back out there with an open mind, so you shouldn’t worry about being a rebound.

HC: Why does a guy hook up with one of your best friends and then they try to hook up with you?

Bro: First off, I don’t think it’s a “guy” thing to hook up with friends. I think people, in general, hook up with one person then move to their friends.  People seem to hang out with others that are of similar attractiveness. So, I’d start by guessing that you and your friend are decently attractive, then I’d guess that you two are pretty similar in terms of personality. You’re friends after all. So, the qualities that your friend has that originally attracted this guy, you’ve probably got those too.

HC: What is the most attractive quality in a girl and why?

Bro: Boobs… just kidding. Honestly, the most attractive thing to me about a girl is when she knows herself. What I mean by that is she knows her flaws but is confident in what she knows and does. Those are the girls that never have to try to be liked or take themselves too seriously. When a girl is confident, it shows in everything they do and it’s a lot rarer than a great set (but that helps too).

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