I love being a quiet person: I love experiencing the world softly, noticing its fine-grained details and immersing myself deeply in emotions. At the same time, I am also a hopeless romantic and someone who loves connecting with others. While you might find me lying out on the Main Quad, losing myself in a good book, you can also find me walking to Caffe Paradiso with a friend or calling my sister from home. Â
For me, connection means feeling a sense of belonging with the people I am surrounded by. I feel comfortable being vulnerable and goofy with them, as a bubbling feeling fills my body. As I share some of the ways I find connection, I will also go back to this bubbling feeling because, as a socially anxious person, reaching this bubbling feeling means that I feel completely at ease in the situation I am in. My body loosens up, and I don’t feel the self-conscious anxiety that can come with feeling overstimulated in a situation.Â
One way I express myself as an introvert is through words, whether they be written or in individual conversations. I like to reach out to friends over text randomly, sending them a message to ask how their day is going or wishing them a beautiful, sunny day. On days when I have free time, I like to go outside and call them, especially my long-distance friends. Occasionally, these choices also mean pushing against some of my anxiety. But I never regret these decisions because I experience that bubbling joy that comes with talking to someone I care for.Â
In connection, relationality is one of the values that make me who I am. During the end of the week and on weekends, I like spending time with my friends on campus. We’ve been on a picnic, gotten frozen yogurt and watched a show together. These small activities are comforting ways that I feel seen by others. I don’t feel overstimulated or anxious–instead, I feel myself relax, laugh more and become open again. My inner child comes out, and I find myself walking home with warmth in my heart.Â
In order for me to value these experiences, finding connection with myself and being comfortable with being alone extends that bubbling feeling. Being kind to myself and giving myself moments of rest in between spending time with friends helps me recharge. I like to tap into the resting practices like coloring, listening to music or baking, all of which give my brain a moment to process things. Understanding that I also need moments of quiet helps me set boundaries and feel less FOMO because I feel connected to my needs and identity.
In a world filled with so much going on all the time, being an introvert wanting a sense of connection can be overwhelming. But the small moments spent with friends and moments of rest in between bring connection in soft ways. And this is just as beautiful too.Â