Despite the millions of roses and chocolates bought around the world, there’s an aspect that oftentimes goes unaccounted for during Valentine’s Day season: intentionality. In this day and age of tap to pay, grand gestures and express shipping, it’s easy to lose focus of intention behind showing care and love. Much of what people claim love to be is transactional. What can they do for me? What gift says “I Love You” the loudest? How can I prove my love through favors? Truth be told, people remembering your favorite color, a hilarious memory, or your go-to food order is a decaying skill that desperately needs to make a comeback.
Somewhere along the way, society has forgotten love isn’t earned, it’s freely given. It’s given in the love you have for the person who understands your quietness in a room full of noise. It’s the reassurance that life will get better when your breathing becomes irregular followed by a deep sigh. It’s a subtle intimate moment in exchanging soft smiles because you realize just how much value that person adds to your life. It’s taking the time to be intentional with how you show someone love.
Intentionality looks different for everyone and though subtle, it somehow says the most. Knowing someone has taken the mental space to think about the ways in which you want to be loved, cared and valued is the ultimate epitome of being loved. Like the famous quote goes, “to be loved is to be seen.” This season of love, I’ve taken time out of my day to recall moments with loved ones, friends, professors, colleagues, co-workers and random interactions that I really value. Someone walking beside you instead of far in front or behind you. The barista who memorizes your order and writes a sweet note when they notice your spirits are low. A friend offering to go on a walk with you instead of taking the bus because it’s more therapeutic. To be loved “loudly” isn’t necessarily saying to be loved through excessive gifting and lavish gestures. To me, being loved loudly is inviting someone’s presence in your life to take up space. It’s not being embarrassed to give them a hug in public or say I love you when 15 other people are around. To be loved loudly is to make a social declaration, “I love this person and I’m not afraid to be seen loving you.”
Throughout the years, I’ve come to really appreciate those who choose to love through intention over attention. Call it the romantic in me, but I’ll forever admire the gentlest forms of endearment and love. There’s a certain beauty in the intimacy of remembering and acknowledging the small things.
So whether you’re celebrating this season with a partner, loved one, best friends, or solo, be intentional with how you show your love. Most of the time, people will teach you how they want to be loved, even if it’s subtle, so pay attention! Listen instead of hearing and talk to understand instead of only getting your perspective heard. At the end of the day, people want to be loved: romantically, platonically, occasionally, through family, pets, or career paths. I hope this article serves as a reminder that intentionality is a hot commodity and truly never goes out of style. Trust me, it’ll say way more than anything you can buy because it truly is the thought that counts. Happy love season, remember to show someone in your life you love them and most importantly, be authentically and uniquely you along the way! <3