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Accept Me Flaws and All


“You catch me when I fall. Accept me flaws and all. And that’s why I love you.” -Beyoncé

Sweatpants, ponytail, hoodie and flip-flops—one  of the most common lounge-fits in college. I was talking to a friend, and she said, “If you meet a guy wearing that, he must really like you.” Will he? Does he? We’ve all heard about that “inner beauty” that guys w‹ill begin to see, but does he see that right off bat? Maybe he does. For this blog, you all will be my future daughters momentarily, and here’s what I’d want her to know.

I find that a lot of girls put on extra airs and graces when they’re around a guy they like. Now don’t get me wrong, that’s extremely normal. You want to look nice, you want to be well put together and you want to smell good — the whole nine yards. That’s normal. However, you want the guy to know the real you, uncut, up close and personal. Sometimes, when people hear this, they mistake it for not having to try. That’s not at all what I’m trying to say. I’m trying to emphasize the point that your boyfriend, male friend, courter, the person doing the wooing (whatever you want to call him), should like you the same in all settings, in all outfits and with any hairstyle you choose. So, when you’re asking your boyfriend why he likes you, either to get that constant reassurance that most girls like, or just in case you forgot, if the answer is “because you’re pretty/fine/hot/sexy, and you dress nice,” maybe you should do some soul searching.

I know and you know that it’s not all about how you look. The question I’m asking is does he really like you? If he arrived at your front door at 6 am, would you hesitate to come and answer the door? Do you try and wake up before he does, so you can hit the bathroom before he wakes up? Even though I’m almost sure, you were extremely pretty the night before. Let him see you. If he really likes you, he’ll want to. If he thinks you’re beautiful, he should think your whole being is beautiful. You shouldn’t have to wear those shirts or jackets that hide your stomach, or wear leggings so your butt will look bigger, or be afraid to eat because you don’t want to seem greedy. Be yourself, trust me. If he really likes you, he will appreciate the level of comfort  you’re showing. You can’t always be one foot under Beyoncé Knowles; you have to be yourself. You don’t always want to be dressed up, but you shouldn’t worry about him being dissatisfied. All those quirks and imperfections about you are the things he’ll grow to love. That strange laugh, your over-competitiveness, how “five more minutes” means I’m just starting to get ready; he’ll love it. That’s what makes you you. Love yourself first, and he won’t have a choice but to love you.

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