Time and time again throughout my teenage years I felt I was too much for everyone. I felt like I made too many mistakes, laughed too loud, was too dumb or was just an annoyance. I wanted to be this perfect version of myself, but what I didn’t realize is that in trying to create this “perfect” person is what caused me to lose everything that made me, me.
If I could go back in time and and talk to younger me or anyone else that feels or have felt similar, I would have a lot to say. I think at a young age, especially for girls, there’s this constant need for comparison. We tend to think that we need to be like everyone else in order to be accepted. Something that really helped me get out of that mindset was looking back at my own friend group. I love all of my friends dearly, and every single one of them are completely different and unique people. They aren’t the same and are still amazing, so why can’t I give myself grace and feel the same?
It’s okay to be different from what you see on social media, or what you feel is judged by people. I think as long as you’re not harming anyone and having fun, then there’s no reason not to be you. Life would truly be so boring if we all had the same interests and personalities. As I touched on, people can and will judge. That’s something that always used to bother me and prevented me from really wanting to express myself because I didn’t want to be too much. What I especially wish I would’ve realized sooner is that you’re never going to be too much for the right people. The right people will accept you no matter what you do, so you should never try to fit someone else’s mold. You will always just be right for your people without having to alter anything. It can be very easy to get caught up in this thinking, but overtime you learn to view all these things differently and appreciate yourself.
Now as I’ve grown, I’ve learned to love everything about myself that I wanted to change before. I’ve learned that the parts of me that I didn’t think were good enough or too much for everyone were the exact parts that my closest friends loved. They didn’t care if I made one too many jokes, laughed too loud in public, tripped or didn’t know the answer to something. They just enjoyed me for who I was. Seeing myself through their eyes is what brought me the confidence to be myself. Sometimes we just need to see ourselves through our loved ones perspectives to truly understand our worth.Â