We all have friends that are constantly making the wrong choices. Whether it is dating the wrong guy, spending a ridiculous amount of money, or slacking in school, our friends tend to go through a string of bad decisions that end up negatively effecting their lives, and in turn ours too. But as a friend it is our duty to voice our opinions and offer them guidance. But what’s the best way to look out for our girls without being overbearing? Especially when they refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem?
How I Met Your Mother capitalized on the art of interventions. It’s also a popular activity among the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ladies. Essentially, whenever someone in the friend circle is losing their way, dating someone atrocious or just in a slump, an intervention is initiated to give them a wakeup call. Sometimes the honest words of a friend are enough to help resolve a problem.
Here we’ve complied an easy 5-step guide to the FriendTervention
Step 1: Greet your friend with an intervention banner
Okay, this may be a little too forward, but make sure you let your friend know that you guys are going to have “the talk” about her issues. She needs to realize that this conversation is serious and not just a venting session but something she needs to learn from. Also make sure you and the others intervening have an organized plan of action when confronting your friend about her issues. For instance, if she needs to dump her sucky boyfriend, compile a list of evidence that points out dysfunctional-ness of their relationship.
Step 2: Tell her this is for her own good
According to an article published by clinical psychologist Dr. Michelle Golland on a website, Momslogic.com (http://bit.ly/X1alxE), that addressed the FriendTervention, girls often fear confronting their friends because confrontations always run the risk of threatening friendships. So make sure your FriendTervention needing friend knows that the intervention is being staged because you are on HER side and want what’s best for her. We don’t want our friends feeling alienated and ganged up on so be sure to emphasize that this is for the best and you are looking out for her well-being.
Step 3: Handle the situation with logic, patience and practicality
Your friend will most likely be in denial so show them logical evidence of their actions and their negative consequences. Also it is important to keep your cool. We don’t want this FriendTervention turning into a shouting match. Pass around a talking stick if need be to give everyone a turn to speak and state their case.
Step 4: Be gentle yet firm
You don’t want this to turn into a Roast of ‘So-&-So’. Be kind and choose your words wisely but do not end the intervention till your friend realizes that she has a problem that needs to be fixed. Don’t be afraid to tell her things she may not want to hear, just make sure you are saying it in the best possible way.
Step 5: Let her know you have her back
In order to assure results following the intervention you may have to give your friend an ultimatum. Pushing her to an ultimatum will force her to take action. But quitting a bad habit takes a lot of work so offer your assistance and let her know you will help her through the rough times. Whether you’re her shoulder to cry when she finally cuts the chord from her bad boyfriend, or you have confiscate her credit card during the week to prevent her from blowing through her savings, let her know that she doesn’t have to go through it alone.
Hopefully this 5-Step Guide will help you help your friend. Improvement is not guaranteed, it may take a very long time or never come at all, but at least you can go to bed knowing you tried to help. And if improvement does come, congratulations! Your friend is no longer threatening the sanity of the group with her crazy problems!