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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

5 Signs He’s Not “The One”

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Illinois chapter.

Sometimes we are blinded by the attention someone gives us. We may not be able to fully see the situation we are in, which can end in heartbreak. Here are five signs the boy you’re with might not be “the one”: 

He only asks you to hang out at night or at home

There are numerous signs he might only be looking for something physical: he never takes you out to eat, doesn’t ask you on dates outside of the house and only invites you to hang out when it’s dark out. Someone who truly wants to be with you will want to make memories aside from the ones made at home.

He doesn’t want to date

Emotions are confusing. It’s okay to take a short period of time to understand and work out both of your feelings, but it might be a red flag if he drags it on for many months. If he genuinely likes you, he should come to a conclusion about how he feels in a few months. Boys who don’t seem to care too much about defining the relationship may not be serious about the both of you.

He doesn’t talk about his feelings for you

Communication is key in a healthy relationship; talking about your feelings for each other is a good sign. Refusing to talk about where your relationship is going or avoiding the topic altogether shows he is not ready to commit, making him not a very good potential S.O.

He won’t introduce you to his friends

A real relationship doesn’t only consist of you and him, but also your friends and his friends. If it seems like he is keeping you a secret from his mates, he might be doing shady things behind your back. He may not talk about you to his friends if he is hiding something from you.

His actions don’t speak louder than his words

Sometimes actions speak louder than words — whether it is giving up free time to be with you or buying you a coffee when you’re having a bad day, small acts of kindness that show that he cares are indicators that he genuinely likes you. If he isn’t willing to make sacrifices for you, he simply doesn’t care enough. 

Of course, these signs may not always be right. Being direct about how you feel is the best way to work things out, so communicate with your S.O. first before diving into assumptions!

 

All photos taken by Julie Kang

Julie Kang

Illinois '20

Julie Kang is a Journalism major at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. In her free time, Julie enjoys ice skating, shopping, talking and eating with friends and reading. Follow her on Instagram at @julieebaaby