After sexual assault allegations from Christine Blasey Ford, a hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and a brief FBI investigation, Brett Kavanaugh has officially gained his spot on the Supreme Court. Watching all of this news unfold for me was disturbing. So, in an effort to lighten my mood and get into the spooky October vibes, I turned to binge-watching Scream Queens. Throughout the marathon, I started to notice some similarities between the judge and one character from the show, Chad Radwell. Chad is…well, a typical Chad. Let’s look at a few things they have in common.
1. They are (or were) kinda pretty.
It may be hard to picture now, but Kavanaugh used to be quite the heartthrob. I can only imagine the school photos full of chiseled jawlines and broad shoulders that decorate his mother’s living room. As for Chad, his portrait probably decorates his own bedroom walls.
All gifs via giphy.com
2. Pampered and Privileged
Brett Kavanaugh’s net worth is about $1.2 million. He attended Yale Law School. He has a literal 1 million dollar home. What would Chad call that? Crazy, stupid rich.
3. Loves golf
Speaking of privilege, did you know that Brett’s private high school (Mater Dei School) had its own 9-hole golf course? Talk about greens! Coincidentally, Chad’s fictional fraternity, the Dickie Dollar Scholars, is also for golfers. Brett would have felt right at home.
4. Tons of friends
Throughout his hearing, Brett made sure to name-drop all of his old high school friends. He named Tobin, PJ, Squi, Dee, Matt, JC, Donny, Mark, and Michael on the bro side. Then, to prove his respect for women, he rattled off Amy, Julie, Christine, Karen, Suzanne, Maura, Megan, and Nikki. Chad Radwell knows that popular is powerful. In fact, he breaks up with his girlfriend every time his social status may be threatened.
5. Loves to work out
During the hearing, Brett was sure to bring along his calendar to show the committee all the time he spent hitting the gym (which was a personal gym at his friend Tobin’s house, of course).
6. Not afraid to get emotional
Apparently, working out with his friends is a soft spot for Brett, despite the hard muscle they were working toward. He took long pauses and sips of water to keep from breaking down. I mean I get it, exercise makes me want to cry, too.
7. Doesn’t love the hot seat…or answering questions at all
When asked by Senator Amy Klobuchar about his drinking habits, Brett was less-than-cooperative. Klobuchar asked if Brett had ever drank to the point of not remembering events the next day. Brett’s response was literally, “I don’t know, have you?” It sounds reasoning for frat-star Chad, but not for a future Supreme Court Justice.
8. LOVES Beer
The most obvious fact that came out of Brett’s hearing: the man likes beer. He made sure to say it, then say it again….and then again (29 times, but who’s counting?). It’s like I can hear Chad’s whooping approval in the distance.
I have no doubt in my mind that if they were able to meet, Brett and Chad would really hit it off.