Letting go is hard because it means that you need to free yourself from some aspects of your past. Things that have become a part of yourself. Things that make you who you are today. Most people understand this as getting rid of that “thing” resulting in a change in who you are. You can find letting go to be scary
Letting go does not have to mean forgetting. It means releasing something’s ability to affect you in a negative way so that when you are remembering it you are not bombarded with bad feelings. Can you miss something? Sure, but you are also keeping in mind that you now have room for better, more positive things in your life. If you are choosing to let go of a loved one because loving them and having them in your life is no longer serving you in a positive way, letting go does not mean forgetting everything that ever happened with that person. It means being able to distance yourself from that person and fondly recall memories involving that person without feeling sad that you do not have him or her in your life anymore. This is quite obviously a process, and at times it might not be an easy one. However, letting go of that person frees up your existing love to channel toward other people who might be a better fit for you in your life presently. In order to help yourself through this, if you feel yourself starting to miss that person in a way that makes you feel sad or lonely, redirect your thoughts toward thinking about the endless possibilities for which your life now has space.
We have the power to decide what we let go of and what we hold on to, and those decisions will eventually shape the trajectories of our lives. If you hold on to a job that you do not love for too long, it can have a negative effect on your happiness and overall well being, but if you let go of it, even if it is scary and slightly sad to do so, you are opening up your life for other possibilities and experiences that there was not any room for before. Letting go of something that you truly love or care about, or just something that provides your comfort is truly difficult. Keep in mind; that all people struggle with this at some point in their lives. Be kind to yourself, and forgive yourself if you are having a difficult time letting go of something that no longer serves you well.
First, live in the present, and think to yourself, “Is loving this person, thing, or idea really serving me and making me happy at this current moment?” If the answer is yes, you might not be able to, or may not need to let go yet. If the answer is no, then you need to take your questioning a step further and ask yourself, “Could letting go of this thing, person, or idea lead to me living a brighter and happier life in the future?” If the answer is yes, or even if the answer is maybe, then you need to seriously consider beginning the process of letting go. Do it even if it seems scary and even if you know that you will miss whatever it is that you are letting go. Better things will come your way, maybe not immediately, but they will. Love is not lost or destroyed when we let go; it just eventually takes on a new shape.
I came across the following quote when I was in high school. I’m not sure that I truly understood it then, but reflecting on it has helped me tremendously as time has gone by. My hope is that reading it can help and inspire you as well.
“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
– Havelock Ellis