Now that we’re officially done getting settled into the new year, how are you doing? What improvements and changes have you made? What bad habits are you breaking? Who is staying with you this new year?
I’ve never felt more refreshed than right now. It’s probably the post-spring break vibes hitting me, but I am so confident in the person I am becoming. I’ve learned that it’s SO important to do what is best for you first and foremost before you can give to others.
I always read blogs or posts that talk about how your 20s is the time to be selfish. I suppose I never liked that saying because it didn’t make sense in my head. Why should I want to be selfish? It wasn’t until this past year, and now during my first year of adulthood, that I realized the quote is about something much bigger. It’s about taking care of yourself and your responsibilities before they advance—spouses, kids, houses, careers.
When I reflect on my recent experiences and new year’s intentions to be more thoughtful towards myself, I can see how I’ve changed my mindset about putting myself first, including my mental and physical health. However, this personal adjustment hasn’t been smooth-sailing considering those around me aren’t viewing their lives in the same way.
Outgrowing friendships is a continuous part of life. From high school to college, to adult life, friendships don’t always last and that’s okay. I am someone who tends to have more individual friends rather than groups of friends, but I do have a college group of girls I hang out with. Unfortunately, things have been quite rocky for a few weeks now. Luckily for me, I’ve learned how to be independent and be comfortable on my own terms. I don’t need the validation of others around me or the constant social interactions. That’s not to say I don’t love or appreciate my friends because I do, especially my true friends; but that means I don’t need my friends to post me on social media or want to be hanging out with them every second I’m free.
Back to the friend group situation, it’s unfortunate things aren’t great between everyone because the whole group (including me) is affected by the drama even though we aren’t directly involved in the situation. No matter what life throws at you with dramatic friendships or feeling lost surrounded by friends, nothing will compare to how peaceful and restorative it can be to be on your own. Living your own life. Doing what makes you happy. Not living to please anyone else. That’s the best way to deal with outgrowing friendships—close the door and continue moving forward. At the end of the day you always have yourself and that’s the best friend you can ever have. The key is treating yourself as you would a close friend. Be kind. Be caring. Be attentive. Be loving.
If you’re reading this as I’m suggesting not to care about others, that’s not accurate. I hope that you reflect on yourself and know your self-worth. If the people you are surrounding yourself with aren’t supporting your future growth or helping you in the ways you’d like, then it’s time to find new friends. Don’t feel any shame for doing what’s best for you.
Appreciate the little things in life but don’t get caught up in the little things. Enjoy waking up in the morning with the sun shining and having a cup of hot coffee. Enjoy that hour at night by yourself to watch YouTube or your favorite show in the comfort of your bed. So… what do you say?
Do what is best for you first. If you aren’t yourself, you cannot give to others or be a support for those around you. So, what do you say? Are you ready to learn how to be okay on your own in a world full of social interaction? Are you ready to stop feeling guilty for leaving situations and people who don’t bring light to your life? I sure am.