Trigger: This article talks about sexual violence and assault. Please know help is available. You are not alone. Local and national resources: https://www.ywcamclean.org/stepping-stones/ https://www.mcleancountyil.gov/277/Resources-Links https://rainn.org/help-and-healing/hotline/
Across countless campuses around the world, over the course of five decades, Take Back the Night has been an annual event promoting campus safety and amplifying the voices and experiences of survivors of sexual assault and violence.
I decided after three years of wanting to go to Take Back the Night, this was my last chance. The ironic part of the story, which will be seen time again, is that I was too fearful to go. I did not understand that the voices of my community would feel so empowering. It’s a little cliche to say; a little dramatic, but I mean it truthfully.
Take Back the Night started in the 1970s in Belgium. Quickly, the movement expanded throughout the globe. Our Illinois State University has had the protest for over thirty years. We are still in the Red Zone for sexual assault, from the beginning of the fall semester to Thanksgiving break, where over 50% of sexual assaults occur towards college students.
Lauren Bounds is the president of the registered student organization Students Ending Rape Culture (SERC), who hosted the event with the Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies department, with help from others as well this year. Bounds said about this year’s march: “Take Back the Night has been a powerful form of protest and speech, especially in response to local violence on campus. In 2022, student Jakai Martin was assaulted in a hate crime that occurred over Homecoming. The march that year was held and it faced head-on homophobic and sexual violence. In 2024, a student was assaulted as a part of a homophobic hate crime. Additionally, ISU has faced issues with sexual assault, including a student who was raped by a student senator in SGA that came forward anonymously in 2023.”
I remember the emergency emails that came from both announcements and how I felt for people in my Queer ISU community. Most importantly, I remember that ISU essentially did very little about the violence. I realized this year, more than any, that hate is boiling up from places I had never thought to look. I think I contained an ignorant naivety about our campus. Just in my three years here, there has been so many scary events that I could count on more than one hand. It proves that this is a very real epidemic that has not ceased, and we will continue to advocate for safety for all. It’s not just in the big cities or random locations, it is often right where you are sitting.
I found this epiphany during our march. Something of note was that as we chanted, there were one or two people on their motorcycles wearing helmets who parked. They heard our energy and revved their engines as loud as they could. I lived on Fell Avenue for two years, where bikers often bragged about their vehicles around the street. This was not an accident. This was louder than anything I had heard before.
While I hate to admit it, it was honestly pretty intimidating that we could peacefully march about safety and have people be that angry about it. It was not later than 7 or 8 PM; it was not us being disruptive, it was about their fear of our reclamation. Later on, we heard a male voice shout from his apartment over and over, “Shut the fuck up”.
Something took hold of me during this time. I held my sign proudly, waved it adamantly into a restaurant window—“You are not alone. End hate. End violence. Protect Trans lives. Believe Survivors. I believe you, I believe in you”—my sign said.
I chanted until I could not breathe, and I tried to keep up the pace. It was odd to be in such a spotlight. People around Uptown looking at us with amusement, not really any positive or negative reaction, aside from the two encounters.
Now that I have painted the main picture, I think it is important to discuss the more chronological way the night went.
There was a nice space set up in the CVA for us to learn more about the history and contexts of the movement. While we made posters, there was a group discussion about various topics under the umbrella, for example: improvements or quick personal stories. After a quick break, we heard a speech or two, poetic invigoration, before we marched.
It’s an indescribable feeling. To hear and shout these statements repeatedly. We mirrored one another the entirety of our 20+ minute hike. I’d never done something like this, but the voices of my community, along with my own—I will never forget it.
Our brave peers that started us and would say the first / and we would call back:
Shatter the silence / Stop the violence
The time is now, the day is here / We will not live in fear
However we dress, wherever we go / Yes means yes, and no means no
Sexist-rapist-anti-gay / You can’t take our rights away
Claim our bodies, Claim our rights / Take a stand, take back the night
After our protest, sweat was flowing; we were out of breath. We were so thirsty and accomplished. We sat in a circle outside of the CVA. A couple of speakers were up again, including Rep. Sharon Chung, who also walked with us, and a plethora of resources, for the time being and for after. There was a room set up inside with counselors if we needed refuge. The survival vigil was a safe space for others to share their stories.
I left the vigil early for an engagement and went back to Uptown alone. It was the same walk that I took with them. I felt a heaviness. The motorcycles and apartment guy’s hatred scared me more than I would have felt on any other night. I had this fear that something would happen to me. That I would be recognized as part of the chanting group and I was now alone, ready to be attacked. I took off my beautiful button reading “I TOOK BACK THE NIGHT”.
To know this fear and know the power of our unity, the painful irony, I discovered the reason why we have hosted this event for decades. There is still prominent violence on our campus and campuses around the world. Advocating for our space as a step towards a safer world is one of the most memorable and important experiences I have to take with me after college. I encourage anyone, survivor or ally, to attend.