This is the dreaded question for girls and guys starting from the beginning of high school until the end of time (mostly for guys though, let’s be honest). Everyone has been friend-zoned once in your life unless your name happens to be Ryan Gosling or Jennifer Aniston. And if Jennifer Aniston got friend zoned it was only by someone named Brad or John, both of which sure as hell have never been friend zoned, so do they even count? (Finally got a John Mayer reference in one of my articles, my job here is done.)
But for real though, lets break this down so we can better understand if it’s actually possible to be “just friends.” Usually the topic comes up when one friend likes the other friend. There are a series of awkward exchanges that begin as lunch dates and end with a pathetic “You are my best friend!” or “You are like my brother!” Girls, you might as well have just ripped our hearts out with those 5-7 words; assuming that it was the girl who said it… which really, when is it not? #AmIRight?
So for the sake of this article, it doesn’t matter to us men what happens in between those dreadful events, but just know that the awkwardness is as bad as that one time Ryan Seacrest tried to high five a blind man on American Idol. Brutal, man.
The real question is, after this awkward stumble through the friendship cycle, are you able to recover and be friends again? The answer is, maybe. To me, it all depends on the maturity level of the parties involved. People get turned down all the time, but getting turned down by one of your friends is a special kind of hurt. The ability to forgive comes with maturity. It is fully possible to forget that this happened and let it go in order to continue being friends.
However, if either person decides to not let the feelings go, the friendship is doomed. You need to drop that like a bad habit otherwise you will be stuck feeling miserable, wanting a relationship with someone who doesn’t want one back. Channel your inner Ryan Reynolds and learn from his mistakes in the movie Just Friends. You might have to wait a little bit before things get back to normal but if you take all the necessary steps, you should be able to salvage it.
Now to tackle the post relationship “just friends” debacle: Not a chance. I have seen it time and time again, people start dating and the relationship just wasn’t meant to be from the beginning. They break up (remember it is never mutual no matter what people say) and leave one person feeling down and wanting it back. They attempt to stay friends and it literally never works. It sometimes takes years to get it back and even still the chances of the friendship surviving is minimal.
It is possible to be just friends with girls. I have so many friends who are girls. Some even who I would call my best friends and know that is where we stand in the spectrum of friendship. It is fully possible and anyone who would disagree that it isn’t, probably had a bad break up and lost a friend because of it. Don’t listen to those downers and don’t be afraid to have friend of the opposite sex.
All in all it comes down to feelings, if there were once feelings between the two people, then the chances of being just friends are drastically lower. Act with maturity and consideration and it’s possible to revive a fallen freindship. It will take time and patience but don’t let that deter you from losing a great friend. We only have the privilege of calling so many people our friends don’t let one slip away for stupid reasons.