In fall 2020, I wrote a paper on working with ADHD kids in the English classroom. As I did my research for the paper, things kept clicking in my brain. “This is exactly how I’ve always felt,” I thought. A family member of mine has ADHD, which is initially why I decided to research the topic. But when I explained to the class that this was “close to home” for me, it felt a little more personal. So I decided to finally officially get tested.
I’d suspected I’d had ADHD for a long time, but never was by any of my family members. When I would tell my parents I was concerned that maybe I had it, they always brushed me off. “You’re good at school,” they’d say. “You’re just making stuff up.”
It’s terrible to me how many unfair stereotypes about ADHD there are. That those who have it are out of control, lazy, messy, not superb academically and many more. My parents thought I didn’t have ADHD just based on the fact that I had good grades and I wasn’t disruptive in class. I had dealt with attention problems my entire life, but it wasn’t looked into solely based on thoughtless stereotypes.
Finally getting diagnosed with ADHD wasn’t a bad day for me. It was a good one. I finally felt understood. All the times I’d been called names or been told to “calm down” or “just focus” or “stop being lazy” finally felt somewhat justified. I spent so many days after that researching ADHD, connecting with people online about it, and really finding a community of people who truly understood me.
The best part of figuring this out was finally being able to understand myself. No longer did I beat myself up for being different than others. I found ways to utilize the amazing benefits that my ADHD brings me, and accommodate the hardships it brings. I really started to lean into the moments I could hyperfocus, for example, and embrace my creativity. I started to give myself breaks and not try to overwork myself and be like every other person because I finally understood that my brain just simply works differently than theirs.
Getting diagnosed as an adult can be frustrating. You may wonder why you were never able to figure it out earlier or dwell on time you’ve wasted when you could’ve been trying to help yourself. Instead of this negative mindset, try to be grateful. You’ve learned a new thing about yourself that can help you be the best version of yourself.
To this day, many people aren’t supportive of the knowledge I try to share with them about ADHD. They think it’s an excuse. However, if you are reading this and you have ADHD or any other type of neurodiversity, I hope you see it as a part of who you are, and never as an “excuse” or any other demeaning name somebody might try to call it.