Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo

To the Friends that Stick Around for Who You Are, Not For Who You Know

Friendships can be so tricky. Toxic relationships are so common at our age. We are so uncertain how to treat each other sometimes, to the point where we just end up hurting one another. Some friendships simply do not get enough credit. Some do not get enough appreciation. I’m here to extend some much needed love to those friendships we all have, the ones that stick around for you. For your personality. For your loyalty. For your unconditional love. For you. It’s hard to get a read on new friendships, but I’m here to tell you that another type of “friendship” exists. It’s a friendship that only thrives off another person. This friendship only works because they prefer the people you surround yourself with, and not for you. This is a type of toxic friendship that is often overlooked because, hey at least they’re your friend, right? You don’t care about the reason behind your friendship, you’re just happy they’re around! You guys, do you understand how important it is to surround yourself with positive people? Do you know how important it is to build friendships with healthy foundations? This is for the people in my life who have stayed by me, through all the obstacles life threw at us. This is for the friendships that thrived off the growth and interest maintained between the two of us, not for the “friends” that thrived off the interest of who I know. This is for my healthy friendships. To the friends that appreciate me for me, I want to thank you and remind you that I appreciate you, for you.

Harsh reality time! Your best friend in high school is truly going to be around forever, or they’re not. And if they’re not, it’s going to feel like you got hit by a truck. It’s going to hurt. A broken friendship is a million times worse than a romantic breakup (don’t fight me on this. We all know it’s true). You’re going to grow, either apart or together. And the foundation of your remaining friendship is going to rely on a couple things: who you are and who you’ve grown to become OR what you have and who you know. The worst thing about friendships that only stay for what you have or who you know is that they make it very, very obvious. They demean you without even thinking about it sometimes and stick around for what you have (whether this is money, popularity, connections) or who you know (in most cases, this is usually a desirable friend of yours that someone has a really creepy crush on). The thing about friendships is that they are completely two-sided. If effort is not evident on both ends, it simply won’t work in the long run. This article is showing anger towards these “friendships”, because I, personally, have spent too much time being angry about the loss of those and not enough time appreciating those who are still around because they genuinely like me for me.

Shocking, I know.

To those who have stayed true, it’s hard feeling belittled by others and that has caused my trust to waver on multiple occasions, but I appreciate you for keeping our friendships so positive and putting in effort for me for plausible reasons. I’m grateful to have friends that don’t care how much money I have, how many friends I have, WHO I’m friends with, because they stick around for me. Friendships like yours are so rare and it never goes unnoticed. Thank you infinitely xoxo.  

Her Campus Placeholder Avatar
Davita Jo Monaghan

Illinois State

It's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world.
Similar Reads👯‍♀️