If you’ve been scrolling social media lately, particularly TikTok, you may have seen various videos about how to get into your “divine feminine energy.” These videos are essentially a guide on how to be a “high value” woman: classy, submissive, and docile, to attract a “high value” man: ambitious, strong, and usually wealthy.
I find this new push for outdated traditional gender roles to be incredibly harmful, and quite frankly, bizarre. Young, impressionable girls can access these videos, which is also extremely concerning. And to make matters worse, a lot of times these “feminine energy coaches” will conceal this paternalistic misogyny and make it seem like female empowerment instead.
But let me be transparent: this trend of stepping into your feminine energy is nothing except repackaged gender roles.
The promotion of gender stereotypes
My main problem with feminine energy is straightforward: it directly promotes outdated gender stereotypes. The ideology defines feminine energy as cooperative, nurturing, and submissive to men, whereas “masculine energy” is characterized by traits such as logic, ambition, and independence.
These feminine energy coaches will try and make the ideology more palatable by arguing that it is a woman’s “biology” to be submissive and passive, instead of being in leadership roles. I find this to not only be untrue, but also extremely devaluing towards women. If women are biologically more submissive, then why have women been rebelling against these roles for centuries?
unknowingly upholding the patriarchy
Another problem with the feminine energy trend is the fact that these coaches are upholding the patriarchy, either knowingly or unknowingly. In these videos, the coaches essentially shame women who are independent and intelligent, calling them not feminine enough. They try to force this idea down your throat that you are not a real woman, and because of that, you will never attract a “high value” man.
The feminine energy movement has no room for authenticity or personality. It puts these extremely sexist standards on women with no backing and calls for women to conform to them. The man has to be the provider and the boss, and you, as the woman, have to submit, or else you’re not “high value” enough for men to chase after.
The Dumbing-Down of Femininity
Finally, the last issue I have with the feminine energy movement — and perhaps the most disappointing — is the dumbing-down of femininity. The coaches preach the idea that being feminine means being meek and below men, and discourage ambition and intellect. I find it to be extremely disheartening that we as a society are dumbing down something as beautiful as femininity. In my opinion, women are mostly in their feminine energy when they are assertive, confident, and secure in their worth.
It’s time to stop regurgitating the same outdated idea that women only exist to please men, and let me be clear: all women are high-value women, whether they exude “feminine” traits or not.