Dear Ex-Best Friend,
It’s been a while. I think that’s a given we can both agree on… We’ve had time to cool off from the fight we had and continue on with our own business and everyday lives. But I wanted to tell you that I do still think about you and care about you because I truly only want the best for you. I sometimes wonder how your life has been, what you’ve been up to, what songs you’ve been listening to and how school is going. I wonder what the latest gossip you have to spill is, what new adventures you’ve been on and of course, how your dog has been. I mean, lets be honest. A best friend is someone who gets you like nobody else does – they mean a lot to you, and when the friendship is no longer there, you’ll still miss them no matter how much time has passed.
Even though we both said some things we regret saying, fought and even ended our strong friendship that we’d had for a couple of years, I just wanted to say that I forgive you. The release of anger and current emotions were just that – a release. They were needed at the time because we both needed that release of all the feelings we felt. Now, I know you can admit just like I can that it was unnecessary and all in the past. We both hurt each other, “erased” one another from social media, and we both were clearly mad and wanted each other out of our lives. Neither of us were right, and neither of us were wrong within our actions and point of views. Even though I’m stubborn and would never admit it at the time, I do regret my decisions within the fight. I forgive the words and trivial digs you threw at me but I’m also sorry for the ones I threw back in a continuous game of tennis.
It’s hard when people ask me how you are or what you’ve been up to because I never know what to say, and I never want to say that we don’t talk anymore because of a dumb fight. Even though it’s been a couple of months without you, I can say I have learned and recovered from this whole experience. Dropping the inside jokes, laugh ’til you cry moments, to-the-max shopping experiences and random adventures that always included food was hard when this all ended because you were basically a part of my family – so of course it stung. Well, for me it did. But overall, I learned how to continue on to the next day and not live in the past because you never know what the future holds for you. I learned not to try to keep people in my life if they don’t want to be in it. I learned to cherish what I have and value my future.
So I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for all of the memories we made because I will continue to cherish them. Thank you for letting me learn from this and helping me grow. Thank you for putting up with me and my dysfunctions even if it was early in the morning. Thank you for letting me vent to you throughout the years. Thank you for fighting with me because it showed me I can’t always be so opinionated. Thank you for keeping all of my secrets as I am still doing with yours, no matter what they were. Thank you for telling me the truth straight up. Thank you for just staying in and hanging out with me and eating. I never wanted to hurt a best friend, but I can say it went both ways, just out of anger at the time. I promised to be there for you through thick and thin – I still will. Even if it may be weird and we haven’t talked in years, I will still be there for you because I keep my promises, especially if it’s for a family member (which you basically were.)
Yeah, I have moments where I miss you. I get curious about how successful your life is when our friends mention your name. Or when I’m driving in the car and hear a new song – I instantly want to send it to you! Sometimes our old memories pop up on social media from a year or two ago, and I of course still laugh at the inside jokes and stories we had: singing obnoxiously with you, going to the beach and just laughing at the dumbest things. But I do get that life moves on, and sometimes it’s not on the same path. I believe this outcome is for the best for us.
Now everything is different – I get it. But I just have one wish for you: I wish nothing but the best for you in the future. I hope that only good things come your way and that you shoot for the stars. I hope maybe one day in the future after everything has blown over, while our kids are at the babysitters, we’ll be out eating food, catching up and laughing ’til we pee our pants. Know that I will always be here for you no matter where life takes us. My promises are still there; that will never change.
Wishing you well, health and nothing but the best!
Xoxo,
Your Ex-Best Friend