Hello my queens! Seeing that the holidays came and passed, for some it was smooth sailing. For me, I am always reminded about patriarchy through different experiences. If you can relate to this then I have some tips for you ladies. These views occur through comments by my lovely family members, friends, and strangers even, who think that their mindset is correct and unaffected by change. HA.
Family members or anyone who refuses to understand your certain rhythm in life will question, tease, or tare you down. For me as a feminist, that is the target. I do not hide this from my family members or from anyone, for that matter, who asks questions about it. However, they do not hide their opinions when we all encounter each other. Moreover, I respect the views and opinions of others knowledge on feminism; but it gets very controversial if told incorrectly or portrayed the wrong way. Those wrongful views are thrown to me in a sexist hurtful way, mostly because I am a woman. It does not help that this poison slips through the lips of older men I know or care about.
Many queens have struggled with this issue and mine particularly falls under the category of feminism, but for some it can be sexuality views, religion, education, and women’s happiness in general. As these men have been taught that their job is to feed us, clothe us, and keep a fancy roof over our heads so we do not grow wrinkles or get our hands dirty…right. We as women have been taught to be okay with this view and to obey it, respect it, and tolerate it.
Respect becomes a huge issue. When it comes to combatting these sexist comments as they are used to make us feel like the size of a piece of rice. Once those comments are brewing, that piece of rice is placed in the middle of a four way stop sign, waiting to be squashed with views, opinions, and negativity.
From stop sign #1 comes the views that “women are taught crazy things in school” and “these professors are filling our heads with nonsense.”
From stop sign #2, I should be gaining “knowledge on how to cook and clean,” or “hunting for a husband because I am too good looking to waste my time with books.”
From stop sign #3, “I do not understand why you study this crap when it’s all fake, it is just turning you into a mandating lesbian”, that comment is usually my favorite.
And lastly stop sign #4 “I hope that one day you wake up and face reality.” Gosh, all of these stops I had to make on my journey to where I am now. I am sure my queens you have had many stops like this as well.
These are actually comments said to me by sexist men who just do not understand me or what I believe in.
Now let’s get into the combatting…
Step #1: Smile. Simple right? Smile because you are holding back a laugh knowing that they are just uneducated and closed minded.
Step#2: Nod. Nod in sympathy for them being so behind in generational progression.
Step #3: Assert your respect for their views and kindly disagree. Step 3 is important because this is testing who is the bigger person. Obviously from their comments they should already be embarrassed for speaking without knowing knowledge about the words they say, however, we will prosper. You cannot beat a dead horse right? So what I usually say is “I respect what you are saying but I disagree with you and I will continue on the path I pave for myself.”
Step #4: Walk away with your head held high knowing within you that you control what you do. No comments will affect you, and they will stop you for a brief moment to realize that some people are just confused and miserable about their own lives that they must destroy a passionate person.
Listen to me queens, and to the fellow feminists out there as well: there will always be negativity in this world, always ready and targeted at the ones succeeding or the ones with different beliefs. It’s a patriarchal nervous and anxious reaction but you must prosper. Take those arrows out of your back, snap them in half, and continue to rule the life you create for yourself. Ignore them queens, know your worth, and combat them with the fact that you will keep conquering and they…they’ll fall behind lost in negativity… Sad day for them…oh well.
XOXO Stay Royal My Queens
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