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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Illinois State chapter.

Relationships are complex and circumstantial. There is no formula for the “perfect relationship,” as no two couples are alike. However, it’s difficult to argue against the fact that one of the most important components, in any relationship, is communication. Whether done verbally or nonverbally, communication has a large effect on the flow of a relationship. While any couple has the ability to master communication, there are still habits that can negatively impact the relationship. Below are a few bad habits to break in order to enhance your relationship.

1. Bad-mouthing one another in front of others.

This should be a no-brainer but it happens more often than you’d think. If you are in a relationship with someone, it would stand to reason that you like that person. So why would you focus onpointing out flaws – especially in front of other people? This has the ability to drudge up issues regarding insecurities and being unappreciative.

While every once in a while we all poke fun at our significant others in front of friends, it is important to remember that there is a huge difference between making a joke and putting someone down. You are supposed to be the one that thinks the best of your partner, so let other people know how great they are. And, if you can’t think of anything positive, maybe look for someone else…

2. Negate negativity.

It can be incredibility mentally exhausting to listen to someone who complains 94 percent of the time. If you’re always looking at the downside of life, this not only has a negative impact on your mood but on your partner’s as well.

We all have bad days, there is no escaping that. And it is perfectly fine to confide in your significant other on those days. But if you feel the need to share every negative thought, that can be taxing on your relationship. If this is a problem in your relationship, try the rose and thorn approach as a way to weed out the negativity. When talking at the end of the day, comment on one up and one down of your day. This will help to add some silver linings to your communication.

3. Nagging/Being unappreciative.

While reminders are sometimes necessary, constantly badgering your partner with what they should be doing is toxic to your relationship. This walks hand-in-hand with being unappreciative of what your partner does for you. Saying things like “I wish you did this” or “I wish you were more like this” is never a good idea. It relates back to bad-mouthing your partner. Comparing them to others in a negative way only aids in developing insecurities.

Instead, commend them for what they do for you. If your partner does something nice, even if it’s something as little as a compliment, it is important to thank them.

In the end…

‘Bad habits in relationships’ is a non-exhaustive list. But the most important takeaway is to communicate, respect, and appreciate one another. Something as simple as an “I love you” text can go a long way in making your partner feel special. 

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Taylor Leddin

Illinois State

Contributor account for Illinois State