The 9 Different Types of Wedding Guests

April showers, May flowers, spring weather (minus the snow we’ve been getting in the Midwest) means that summer is getting closer! Which means, yes, it’s wedding season! The older we get, we find ourselves reserving certain weekends off to attend weddings of close friends, family members or even just people we went to high school with. We find our refrigerators filling with RSVP’s and the panic of finding a “plus one” in time sets in.

            But I’ve always seen weddings as such a great way to people watch. There are just so many distinct types of people at weddings that make the guest experience that much more enjoyable. Of course, you’re there to support the happy couple, but let’s be real, a part of us goes just to see the reactions and behaviors of others. I’ve noticed these specific groups of people at weddings:

1.      The overly emotional bridesmaid:

-This one is an absolute given. Here’s the scenario: your best friend is getting married, you’re standing by her side during the whole journey, you’re watching her make this major step in her life. How can you not be emotional?! Of course, there’s also the situations where this bridesmaid is just emotional because she’s still single and weddings can just be that hard BUT regardless, weddings are an emotional time for bridesmaids, so you’re always bound to find one constantly wiping away tears.

2. The flirt (or the “I’m only here to hook up” guest):

            -Ahhh, yes. We all see weddings as quite the opportunity to meet new people. So, there’s bound to be at least three guests who are just looking to get laid. You’ll often find them talking to EVERYONE, flirting with different people. They’ll probably even try hitting on you. These guests are on a mission and where better else than a ceremony of love and unity than to find someone for themselves?

3. The “grandparents”:

            -And I don’t mean the actual grandparents of the bride and groom, I mean the guests that leave way too early during the reception. There’s always going to be some people who aren’t keen on staying through the whole party and just want to go to bed.

4. The overly energetic children:

            -Looking around wedding halls, I always see the young flower girl and ring bearer running around without a care in the world (probably because of the sugar high they’re on from the wedding cake). If it’s not them, it’ll be another young child, who other wedding guests have not seen in a few years, so you’ll hear a constant slur of “wow they’ve gotten so big!!!” The energetic young children will potentially take the attention away from the bride so watch out.

5. The “I’m just here to have fun” guest

            -Weddings are overall a great time so there’s going to be a few guests who simply enjoy every moment of the ceremony and reception. This guest is often the first one on the dance floor, social with everyone and does not let other guests phase them.

6. The “hot and available” sister of the bride:

            -I find this more so in wedding comedies but it applies to real life as well. The bride or groom will probably have an attractive sister or relative that all the single wedding guests and groomsmen will try to impress. It’s often quite comical to see how far some people will go to get her attention.

7. The “photo bomber”:

            -There will be an older family member (probably an uncle or a grandfather) that finds photo bombing absolutely hilarious. If you don’t notice him at the actual wedding, you’ll notice him the photos later on.

8. The drunk:

            -Yes, at least a handful of people at weddings will be absolutely hammered. That’s something you can guarantee from every wedding. Especially if there’s an open bar. Then it’s pretty much “game over” after that.

9. The “when’s your wedding??” relative: 

            -If you’re going to a wedding stag, there will be an older relative asking when YOUR wedding is. Depending where you are in your own love life, this conversation could be the absolute cringiest. Weddings bring out that part in all of us that wants to ask when the next one will be. I’ll be looking forward to seeing what next group of wedding guests I’ll encounter in the future. Good luck this wedding season. I hope you all catch a bouquet! Xoxo.