1. WHERE IS THE FOOD?????!!!!!????!!!!
2. WHY DON’T WE HAVE ANY FOOD?!?!?!
3. Does anyone go grocery shopping in this family?
4.Why isn’t my family home lined up at the door to greet me and shower me with love at 3:00 on a Friday afternoon?
5. I’m bored.
6. Do you think my dog remembers me?
7. *Cooks every available scrap of food hiding in the fridge and pantry*
8. *Eats it all in one sitting*
9. OMG! Mom’s home! Ugh, I need her advice.
10. “MOM STOP JUDGING ME I’M DOING MY BEST.”
11. I’m bored.
12. I wonder how many episodes of Grey’s I can watch before my eyes fall out of their sockets?
13. I HATE YOU SHONDA RHIMES YOU ARE THE DEVIL.
14. *Watches two hour infomercial about knives*
15. What can I convince my parents to buy me while I’m here?
16. How much toilet paper can I steal without them noticing?
17. A 10 pack of paper towels? How do they afford this?
18. When did we get a hot tub?
19. “Mom if you don’t take down that picture of me from 6th grade with braces, a middle part and a Hollister polo on I will never come home again.”
20. “No grandma, I still don’t have a boyfriend.”
21. “No grandma, we broke up two years ago.”
22. “Yes grandma, I would like another cookie.”
23. *Drinks Busch Lite with friend who went to Junior College’s basement*
24. I am so glad I went away to college.
25. *Remembers that DDs don’t exist in the suburbs*
26. “Hey mom! Can you come pick me up?”
27. I can’t wait to go back to school.