Loving yourself is important; everyone has come to notice that. No one is willing to hate themselves, so it should be pretty natural, right? Looking back, I thought loving myself solely meant treating myself, complimenting myself, and boosting my confidence. While these can all be ways to love yourself, to truly love oneself, it requires a deeper examination and reflection on oneself.
Understand what “loving yourself” means
As simple as it sounds, what does it really mean to love yourself? Most importantly, to love, you have to learn. This means that copying a lot of the self-care content on social media, such as doing a workout, putting on a facemask, and having a bubble bath, does not make you love yourself effortlessly. The most essential first step in loving yourself is to learn who you are. Start asking questions like what makes me feel comfortable?, What frustrates me?, How do I react to certain situations?, and so on.
Accepting who you are
As I mentioned in the introduction, my initial thoughts on loving myself were to focus on my good qualities and treat them as much as possible. However, it made me realise that, to love myself truly, I can no longer ignore the aspects of myself that I dislike, and that I have to face them. One of the bravest things a person can do is acknowledge that they are not always the nicest person they aspire to be, and they do have evil parts within them.
you cannot control your emotions, but neither can the emotions control you
At least for me, I have been in phases of life, where I was both completely controlled by my emotions, and I was trying to control all my emotions. The truth is, neither of those actions helped. Emotions are little voices inside your head, so if you ignore them, they will explode, but they can also manipulate you if you lean too much on them. One of the methods I found helpful was to completely receive all the emotions that come up in my mind without any judgment, however unsettling those emotions can feel.
There is no definitive answer on how to love yourself, and these are all personal observations, however I hope anyone who reads this finds it somewhat handy! What I want to emphasise is that no one deserves to hate themselves, not even as a form of self-sabotage. Self-hatred can appear in the slightest parts of your life, and it can definitely affect you and people around you in numerous ways. The goal is not to control who you are, but to accept and embrace your own unique traits.