I have never been a sports person.
When I was younger, I was the type of person who hoped PE class would somehow get canceled. Running was painful, ball sports were scary, and I genuinely could not understand why people chose to exercise in their free time.
Then I watched Haikyuu!! In middle school.
And, for some reason, I thought, “Wait. Volleyball looks fun.”
Looking back, this was a very dangerous thought.
I had zero volleyball experience. Actually, I had almost zero sports experience in general. But after watching enough episodes of Hinata jumping ridiculously high and everyone screaming dramatically during matches, I decided to join a volleyball club after entering college.
Apparently, watching four seasons of volleyball anime does not count as training.
I was terrible.
My receives could go literally anywhere except where I wanted them to go. My serves sometimes crossed the net, which I considered a personal achievement. And when the ball came directly toward me, there were moments when my brain simply stopped working.
Everyone else: “Ball!”
Me, standing there: Oh. The ball.
And then it was already on the floor.
Obviously, being bad at a team sport can be embarrassing. Volleyball is especially cruel because everyone can see your mistake. If you miss the ball, it hits the floor. If you serve into the net, everyone waits for the next ball. There is no pretending that nothing happened.
Still, weirdly, I loved it.
What I liked most was not spiking or scoring points. To be fair, I was not exactly scoring many points anyway. I loved the moment when everything somehow connected.
Someone receives the ball. The setter runs after it and manages to set it. The hitter jumps. Then—point.
It only takes a few seconds, but every action matters.
The hitter might be the person who officially scores, but the point started with the receive. And sometimes the receive is bad. Sometimes the set is awkward. Sometimes everyone is basically running around trying to save a ball that should have touched the floor five seconds ago.
But when we somehow keep it alive and score?
That is the best feeling.
Maybe that is why I kept playing even though I was bad. In most things, being bad makes me want to quit immediately. I like knowing what I am doing. I like feeling at least slightly competent.
Volleyball gave me absolutely none of that.
Instead, it gave me sore arms, bruises, and many opportunities to apologize to my teammates.
But it also gave me moments when I felt like I was actually part of something. Even if my receive was not perfect, someone could save it. Then another person touched the ball, and suddenly we had a chance to score.
I started volleyball because of an anime, which is still slightly embarrassing to admit. Haikyuu!! made volleyball look cool, dramatic, and inspiring.
Real volleyball is mostly sweat and someone yelling “Mine!” while three people still run toward the same ball.
But I think I like the real version more.
I am still not a great volleyball player. Honestly, I am probably not even a good one. But now I understand why people choose to spend hours repeating the same movements and chasing a ball around a court.
Sometimes, everything connects.
And for a few seconds, it feels really, really good.