Starting college is hard. It can be isolating and scary. Everything is so new and you can feel so lost. When I started college last year, that’s exactly how I felt. The transition to college for me was painful. I was far away home and I didn’t know anyone. I felt so confused by how difficult of a transition it was. I knew that would be difficult to go away to school, but I had been looking forward to this for years, so why wasn’t I happy?
I underestimated how hard leaving home would be, and when I looked at everyone else at my school, they seemed happy. I felt out of place and upset. I remember calling my mom and begging her to come pick me up from school. I was ready to leave. My mom did not pick me up, and she did not let me give up. I stuck it out and much to my surprise, things started to slowly get better.
One thing I think is very important to understand when going through a big change, like starting college, is that everyone moves at their own pace. Some people instantly feel comfortable in new situations, but for people like me it takes us a while to warm up to the change. It’s okay if you feel upset during your transition to college life. Everyone has different experiences and ways of dealing with things, so don’t be upset at yourself if you don’t instantly, or ever, have the feeling that being at school will be the best time of your life. If you don’t love your school, it’s fine to look at other options. As my mom said, “you are not in prison, you are in college, you can transfer if you want to.”
What helped me the most with the transition to college was my friends. I started off at school not knowing anyone. I had a roommate who I barely talked to and I felt uncomfortable with many of the people around me, but I eventually I started to make a solid group of friends. Friendships grow. They are not instant and require hard work, but eventually you will find some friend with whom you can truly connect. I met my friends by chance after a dinner that we had to attend as a part of orientation, and eventually we became close and were able to grow our friendship. You might have to wait a little to find really good friends, or switch groups, but eventually you will be able to find a support system that helps you get through this difficult transition. Remember during this time that you are not the only one who feels scared or unhappy. Find people who you can talk to about how you’re feeling. You are not alone in feeling these things or wrong for being scared. Everyone is different, so when starting college remember to go at your own pace, while still trying to go a little bit outside your comfort zone, because sometimes you need to fake it ‘till you make it.