Embarrassing Life Lessons

Some embarrassing moments in life are worse than others. Here are five lessons I’ve surmised from the proceeding awkward and embarrassing moments college has given me.

1.   That moment you and this guy are really getting along and chatting up a storm. You miscalculate and think he’s in to you, only later to find out (after stalking him on Instagram and Facebook) he’s been dating this girl Laney for two years. And you then reflect on your conversation and realize he must have been cringing at every flirty thing you said and did, wondering how to escape the situation you put him in. Lesson there? Never check a guy’s social media, you might find something you don’t want to know.

2.   When you’re walking up the steps to the Library, a hundred things on your mind, and you trip and fall onto your hands and knees. Embarrassing? Definitely, because you realize you weren’t the only one to witness such an occurrence. The guy walking down the steps towards you saw the whole thing, and did he ask if you were okay? Of course not. Instead of wondering if there was anyway to help the poor, pathetic girl who clearly can’t do three things at once (walk, breath, and think), he looks at you, turns away, and keeps walking. Never walk without constantly thinking about where you are stepping. 

3.   That time you went back for the pen you left on the desk in class, and it’s not there but your professor is, so you inquire about the pen. She misunderstands and thinks you need to barrow a pen, handing your own pen out to you. You take it because you’re so happy to see your pen but she clearly thinks you’re here to borrow it. You try to explain you left it, but the look on her face is one of pure pity. She thinks you’re crazy as you zip the pen she just loaned you into your backpack. You feel awkward; how do you re-explain what you’ve just explained? Even if it's your absolute favorite pen, do. Not. Go. Back.

4.   That time you gave your phone number to a group of new friends on campus, only to realize after a substantial amount of group texts have been sent without you receiving them, that you gave them all your mom’s number and not your own. Always be anxious every time you put your number into peoples’ phones ’cause one day you’re going to slip up.

5.   If you’re made it this far, I’ll give you one last lesson. That time at the gym you thought the guy bench-pressing forgot his water bottle. You pick it up, accepting that responsibility of finding this boy and giving him his water bottle. You find him across the gym on some crazy machine, way above your beginner gym membership to fully understand. All you see is him laying on his back using his legs to push heavy weights up and down. You in your infinite wisdom walk over to the poor boy ask him if this is his water bottle. Between gasps of breath, his face beet-red from the strain of the exercise, he finally makes it clear enough that it is his water bottle. You put it down next to him and the death machine and walk away, only to fully grasp how weird that interaction must have been. Lesson there? When you think the world is giving you an opportunity to be kind, it’s not. Just leave it and walk away.

 ~ M