Fear is something that holds us back from most trivial things and sometimes from experiencing the best. Now, I am no psychologist, but I’ve met fear and so have you. I don’t know if it’s a he or a she, but it’s a long-time relative that pops in from time to time; it makes you cook crappy lasagna and clap when the plane lands.
Fear can rear its ugly head in many ways. Fear is the emotional wall you put up after your boyfriend or girlfriend unintentionally hurts your feelings. You build your walls up high to protect yourself from being hurt again. Rationally, you know it isn’t all that bad and they didn’t do anything wrong. And yet, we build. Like some spray-tanned-reality-star-turned-dictator or something. We question what the truth is because our gut says, “pull away,” and maybe they are not worth pulling away from at all, but it’s easier to.
Fear can be deep-rooted. Fear might be what stops you from actually going to the gym because you subconsciously fear not being able to get to your goals. Your subconscious beliefs about yourself might be something to the effect of “I’m unworthy,” “I’m not fit,” and, therefore, you manifest these fears and beliefs about yourself in the indent of your booty on your couch and that extra button that flung off your jeans last week. Or, maybe you do get fit, but you still don’t really believe that’s who you are and so you turn right back to where you came from.
Fear is self-sabotage. Fear is laziness. Fear is clinginess. Fear is inaction.
Now, fear and the defense mechanisms we use aren’t necessarily something to be ashamed of. Fear is a normal reaction to a threat on the human spectrum that has been there since the beginning of time. Fear is there for a reason. With fear, we have developed mechanisms to protect ourselves, be it physically or emotionally.
However, we must remember that, although sometimes it is worth listening to our gut instinct when fear arises, it is also worth looking it in the face for what it is and deciding if that fear is actually helping you get to what you want. Yes, you can do that. Fear is naturally there to protect you but it can also hold you back from accomplishing the things you want to accomplish: giving that relationship a shot, learning something new or a million other things that help you experience minute and massive things that lead to growth.
In Jen Sincero’s book You Are a Badass, Sincero says pain is inevitable. If you hide from it, it will find you. You may as well “grab fear by its nether regions” and put yourself in a position to grow. You miss all the shots you don’t take, right?
If you’re not where you want to be, I invite you to take a look at your situation and see where you can find fear in those places. Where is fear no longer serving you? Often times you owe it to yourself and your best life to “thank fear for its concern, but send it on its way.”
If this sparks any reaction out of you whatsoever, I suggest you pick up Jen Sincero’s book. It is a personal recommendation, I receive no benefits from telling you to buy this book but I run a tight ship and as an inhabitant of a body that occupies this earth for a speck in time, I find little room on my schedule now to entertain fear as much as I have been.
“There’s nothing as unstoppable as a freight train full of f*&k-yeah” – Jen Sincero