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Sex + Relationships

How to be in a “Non-Long Distance” Relationship

For pretty much 90% of my relationship, my boyfriend and I have been long distance. I literally only know how to be in a long distance relationship, and I became acclimated to being alone but also having someone to see every so often.

My boyfriend recently moved to the same island as me, and I am constantly having a whirlpool of emotions. You would think that I would be happy because long distance is very hard for some people, and I overcame it and am now able to see my other half on a daily basis, but no.

Here are ways that I am coping with this new “non-long distance relationship”

1. I am taking time for myself

I see my boyfriend pretty much everyday – we don’t spend all of our time together, but we see each other for roughly 5 hours per day, plus when he stays the night. This is something SO NEW TO ME… I am not used to hanging out with someone for a long period of time. I now wake up early in the morning to just have a few hours alone, just to be able have the luxury of both lives I want to live.

 

2. Sharing spaces

I have had my own closet for my whole college career. My my boyfriend being here and leaving some things at my apartment is totally cool and convenient, but he takes up A LOT of space. This is a blessing in disguise because its teaching me not to be a hoarder, but it’s also low-key difficult.

 

3. Patience

I am a short fused girl – not going to lie, I get mad very easily, especially when I am already annoyed. My boyfriend living here is teaching me how to be patient and how to face my problems head on (this is still a work in progress xD)

 

4. Time management

It is so refreshing to be able to see my other half all the time, but I still have to do things in my personal life like go to class, work, do homework etc. I learned a system to set time to hang out with my boyfriend but also spend some time at the library to get my homework done. This was a bit of a struggle when he would visit because I would drop off the face of the earth to hang out with him – now that he’s here full-time though, I have found a good balance.

 

Being in a “non-long distance relationship” is a learning process and I am figuring out how to include my boyfriend in my hectic life. I think one piece of advice I can give is, be willing to listen and be present, because it can be difficult to do that when you are so used to being alone all the time.

 

Mariah is 21-years-old senior at Hawaii Pacific University, majoring in Mass Communication concentrating in Advertising and Public Relations and minoring Marketing. On her free time, she likes to join extra-curricular activities at HPU, go to the beach, and hang out with her friends and family.
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