After the summer fun has ended, fall comes; and either you or your S.O will leave or both go in separate directions. Many couples go through the same pondering issue of going long distances. Not being physically together during the process of transitioning into college is very difficult; especially now since the pandemic limits the options of regular visits with each other.
Here’s some advice on how you can handle long distances!
Ask yourself some of these self-reflecting questions:
Do you think putting in the long-distance effort will be worth it? Are you ready to have a serious conversation with your significant other about going long distance? Will you still care about your partner when physical attractions are no longer a factor? Will you feel fulfilled in a long-distance relationship where you cannot physically spend time together?
This starts with you. Only you can know for certain whether you want to go long distances with your significant other or not. Going off to college may bring feelings of wanting to explore more options or wanting to focus on school instead of having a relationship. If this is you, it’s best to stop reading now and have an honest conversation with your significant other.
Be aware of some of the issues that may arise to be (but not limited to):
Having insecurities and trust issues: Because you are not with them when they meet new people, it’s normal to be uncomfortable with the idea of change.
Giving too much or too little attention to each other:
Giving too much attention to the other person leaves no room for you to grow as a person. Being on your own means being independent in your own way. Giving too little attention can leave the other in the relationship feeling neglected.
Both of you have to sit down and have a conversation about going long-distance. Setting boundaries adds a level of security that both will remain loyal to each other. Two of the biggest things about going the long-distance is making time and making the best out of the situation. If both of your schedules are filled, set a date night or date day where that time is set for both of you to spend time together. Talking to your partner whether on a phone call or video chat is the best way to connect with your partner over the distance. During the phone conversation, cute date ideas can be watching a movie or TV show together, eating dinner together, or working out together. Having homework dates and sharing music can also add variety to your relationship.
Misinterpreting tone over texting/impersonal communication:
This can be a hard thing to get over sometimes. They may not add a “smiley face :)” to the end of their “I love you” or an extra “y” to their “hey,” but trying not to overthink their text messages can be difficult. Remembering that they are busy people too may be the reason for their indifference in texting. The problem is most likely not with you but their schedule.
Going long-distance with your significant other can strengthen your relationship. Being away can cause frustration. Remember to not take the little things for granted; discuss the issues you may have in the relationship or personally right away; don’t forget to reassure your partner of your love for them. Not seeing an end date for when you’re going to see them again can be anxiety-inducing and scary, but when you’re with them again, the time you spent apart won’t matter as much.