By: Diamond Bullock
When I first heard someone say “Distance makes the heart grow fonder,” I didn’t quite understand how that could be possible. How could you be hundreds of miles away from your significant other and not have a failing relationship? It took a personal experience for me to realize they weren’t lying.
Meeting my boyfriend was a blessing until I realized I had one month until I had to leave New York City to go back to Washington, D.C for college. I thought it would be easy, but I was surely wrong. The relationship didn’t work out initially: we parted ways and found interest in other people.
I blamed myself for the breakup, cursing myself for leaving him behind and going back to school so quickly. It took me some time to realize it wasn’t really my fault, and we didn’t prepare ourselves for the distance. We didn’t communicate enough, we didn’t trust each other, and we didn’t learn how to cope with missing each other. Relationships are a load of work, and it’s even harder when you’re not physically together.
Fast forward a year and we’re back in the same situation– me returning to school. However, this time we’re ready for the distance and the obstacles which will be thrown our way. Here are some tips for my college girls leaving their fellas behind:
Get him used to missing you. If you’re with him every day, do you think it’s going to be easy for him to miss you when you’re off to school? I’m not saying that it’s taboo to spend quality time with your man, but you need to distance yourself little by little. If you’re under him 24/7, he’ll go crazy when you leave for good.
Communicate. I know college schedules get busy between class and extracurricular activities, but make time to talk to your man. Your man is probably wondering what you’re doing all day, and I’m sure you’re wondering what he’s doing as well. Call, Facetime, and/or text him as much as your schedule allows. Don’t worry about “being annoying” either; he’ll love to hear from you.
Stay involved in his personal life. This goes hand in hand with communication. By communicating with your man as much as possible, you’re still staying involved and relevant in his life. Don’t ever make him feel like you forgot about him. If you know something special is coming up, like his birthday or such, make sure you make time to communicate with him or even visit, if time and distance permits.
Keeping the bond strong by communicating and still showing you care about your man no matter how far you are will keep him hooked. Giving him a chance to have doubt about your involvement in the relationship will have you guys heading straight to trouble in paradise. And I know you don’t want that, honey.