*I want to preface the following by saying that the “you” in this case is me, Maritza.*Â
You never appreciate how much you change in life until you are hit with the fact that you do not live in the same state as your parents, you are never going back to your childhood, you will never experience the same Christmas when you still believed in Santa, and you are already overwhelmed with student loans your first year of college. The stress of a liberal arts education and the social life will remind you are not in high school with your friends laughing it up in science class anymore. There’s overwhelming drama happening within your dorm and whispers of controversy outside. There isn’t a place to feel your emotions in your own company, and there for sure isn’t comfort food like the dishes you knew at home. Your path in life is impacted by the effort you put into these next four years of rapid change, but it is within these long days that your ways of thinking change. You begin to mature in a way you knew you wouldn’t have achieved if you still dealt with living at home. You soon realize that you will become a better person for yourself and for your family once you find a home away from their company. You’ll realize that all those arguments and resentment start to turn into deeper love for your parents and siblings as you grow away from their presence. Yet, this new life will keep reminding you of the lessons your mom taught you that you once thought nothing of. You realize that being a first-generation student is indeed devastating when you start to manage your own expenses, or when you need to rely on your peers instead of your parents because even though they love you, they cannot understand the extent of your education. They were never fortunate enough to be where you are today. They were fortunate enough to give you a life filled with accomplished dreams, the types of dreams they too once had. You carry a piece of their heart and dreams with every test, tear, and decision you make. You realize that your struggles in higher education and in your pathway to success does not and will not equate to the endless struggles your parents encounter living in a country that does not welcome them with open arms. Every decision, breakdown, and failure does not amount to the hope that you’ll one day be able to support the very people who have humbled you down to the person you carry today. That’s when you become independent.