One of the most difficult things about going away to school can be the inevitable separation that is bound to happen with high school friends, from your friend on the rec soccer team to your best guy friend that you went to prom with. This process of growing apart and losing connection is not only common but also normal.
- You’re all in different placesIf you don’t end up at the same school as your friends, there is going to be an obvious physical separation. While I’m here on the Hill, I have a good friend in Delaware, a few at home in New Jersey, and some in Pennsylvania. There’s obvious physical separation here – Delaware isn’t exactly close to Worcester… Distance is hard – I went from seeing my friends every day to seeing them only a few times a year. Just this alone is enough to put a massive rift in any relationship. As the saying goes, “out of sight, out of mind.”
- You’re all on a different scheduleWhile I’m headed to Anthropology at 11 AM, my friend might be working or just finishing with class. This makes it especially hard to find time to stop and catch each other up on everything that has been going on. It’s also likely that you’re all much busier than you were in high school – college tends to take up a lot of time. This is a major obstacle for long-distance friendships.
- You’re growing in different directionsOne of my good friends at home is looking to go into Business administration while I’m an Anthropology major. These differences in types of classes and career paths are setting you up for different things in life and may send you in different directions. Undoubtedly, you’re each having your own experiences that are shaping you differently. Sororities, sports teams, and clubs can have a huge hand in this. If one of your friends is a part of a sorority and you aren’t, it’s pretty likely that you’re both having different social experiences.
- The people you meet at college are different than the people you knew from high schoolThe friends that you find at college are people who are most likely headed in a similar direction to you – they’re at the same college as you for a reason. Similar types of people tend to go to similar places. You’re with people who are studying the same types of things that you are and may end up with a job similar to yours. Similarities can bring people together and forge strong bonds. Friends from high school are the people that you grew up with and may have been forced to form connections with as a result of the circumstances of growing up in the same town together.
- Some people just grow apart with timeOne of my most favorite quotes that my mom has always said to me is, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Without a doubt, this is one of the most accurate statements that I have ever heard. There is a purpose to almost everything that happens to us in life and all the people we come into contact with are no exception to this. Some people will come and go in life and others might stay – that’s just how it goes. The friends you grew up with may have been there because you all struggled through high school together – once that chapter of your life ends, your connection with them might end too.
Growing up and growing apart can be tough, but it is an inevitable part of life and nearly everyone experiences these degrees of separation at one point or another. This is not to say that once you graduate high school, you’ll never see, talk, or hear from your friends at home. There are exceptions to all of this; in fact, one of my best friends is someone I went to high school with. Even though she’s studying Speech Pathology all the way back in New Jersey, we’re always there for each other, and we can always pick up right where we left off. She’s always one of the first people I see when I go home, and she’s been all the way up to Worcester to see me. Bottom line is that some people will come and go and some will stay in life – especially as you grow older and start a new life. Understand that distance happens and embrace all those people around you that are with you in the moment. Coming from the very same poem that my mom so lovingly uses, is a line that says it all: “Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.” Do this, and you can’t go wrong.