Every season of The Bachelor obviously gets a little weird…I mean the entire show is about a group of women fighting for one guy’s attention and love. Any episode of The Bachelor has its fair amount of catfights, breakdowns, and “tragedies” to keep people interested. However, this season is a little different. The women are fighting to the death to win over the heart of Idaho farmer Chris Soules. Each girl claims that they have the key to his ~soule~.. but do they really? Read below to see who’s who on this season of #TheBachelor.
1. Kelsey call’s her husband’s tragic death “AMAZING”Kelsey is a widow, and she conveniently decided to reveal this information to Chris right before the rose ceremony, knowing it would make him pity her (and then of course he would choose to give her a rose). Thanks to Kelsey we DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO GOT THE ROSE because she may have faked an injusry/ panic attack. If you ask me she just seems absolutely batshitcray. Anyways, in her one on one with the camera Kelsey says: “I love my story.. isn’t it amazing??? This isn’t just a love story about Chris.. it’s about me too.” Okay keep watching Mondays at 8.
2. Jade was a playboy bunnyAfter watching the first two episodes, Jade seemed like a clear favorite for me. She’s so sweet and demure, and the fact that Chris’s family chose her to go on a one-on-one date with Chris says a lot. However, recently it has come up that Jade did some nude modeling for Playboy! Not saying that’s a bad thing, if you got it, flaunt it. Still team Jade.
3. Britt is deathly afraid of heights but relived to go on a hot air balloon ride?Britt is a *waitress* from Hollywood whose favorite pastimes include standing on the side of the road advertising free hugs… Britt cried when she saw Chris for the first time. Somehow this pleased Prince Farming and she was given the coveted first impression rose. When Britt receives a date card stating “Sky’s the limit” all hell freezes over. She is terrified, claiming heights are her biggest fear and has a full-blown breakdown (with tears obvi). However, when it actually comes time for their date and Britt discovers they are flying in a hot air balloon, she is ecstatic. Sorry but wtf??? This makes no sense to me.
4. Britt sleeps in full makeupWhen Chris comes to pick up Britt for their date, he surprises her with a 4 am wakeup call. However, the surprise comes right back at him when he discovers Britt sleeping in full makeup- from fake eyelashes to red lipstick-she looks like she’s about to hit the red carpet. But I mean at least she’s prepared!Best part of this little encounter is when Chris says “Britt looks just as good in the morning as she does all dolled up.” Lol smiley face she is all dolled up…… #naturalbeauty.
5. Chris and Carly had a couple’s sex therapy session-on their first dateFinally Carly got her first one-on-one date with Chris!! Too bad it was awkward AF for everyone involved-including the love guru. The love guru instructed them to strip each other’s clothes off and try various sexual positions while she just watched. At one point Carly tried to feed Chris a chocolate strawberry and the melted chocolate ended up getting stuck in his beard…the whole experience was just uncomfortable. Carly is still a favorite though since she seems like she may actually be normal??
Keep watching The Bachelor Monday nights at 8 PM.