He likes me, he likes me not, he likes me, he likes me not, he likes-, let’s just stop it right there. You already booked the date, there’s no doubt, they aren’t interested in you, unless this person is a masochist or trolling in which case, they need to get a life.
Here are 6 Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to the first date.
Do’s
- Do, be your authentic self:
Wear an outfit that makes you feel confident and hot, not just what you think will impress the other person. Share your genuine personality rather than trying to match their energy or filter yourself based on other people. Even if you guys are totally different, opposites do attract. Be upfront, express honest opinions (tactfully) instead of just agreeing with everything:
- Do, ask questions:
You never want your date to feel like they are being talked at, and if your date is not the chattiest, one of my favourite questions to ask the other person is, what is one thing you geek out on? That usually gets the person talking!
- Do share your location/update in the bathroom:
Share or send your location to someone you trust and let them know who you are meeting with for safety reasons. Text a friend if you change venues. Another plan is to use a bathroom break to check in with a friend about how the date is going or have a safety call planned, if needed.
Don’ts
- Pay on the first date.
Don’t automatically assume you should be paying the entire bill, do not make a show of pretending to reach for the purse, if you don’t actually plan on paying. You can also discuss payment casually before the bill arrives to avoid awkwardness. (Consider alternating who pays if you go on multiple dates.)
- Don’t talk about past relationships/gossip
Avoid detailed stories about exes (no one wants to hear if it was messy or not – It’s just not a good look). Don’t badmouth former partners, and skip sharing friend drama or workplace gossip. I find the best rule is to focus on positive topics rather than complaints. And if by unusual circumstances they do ask to keep it short and sweet.
- Don’t tell them what you are interested in or what you’re looking for
Allow your intentions to emerge naturally through conversation. Don’t give them a relationship checklist early on, they could end up just putting on a show of those qualities just to get in your favor. Let the chemistry develop organically before discussing relationship goals. Save deeper conversations about future expectations for when you know each other better.
This goes without saying but: Read the room. Pay attention to body language, and the flow of the conversation. If a topic or joke isn’t working, switch it up.
Remember: no matter what happens, you’ll either have a great time or a great story. So either way win-win!