It’s fall, which means that our favorite sad-girl music is back in season. And who’s better to listen to than the very queen of sad girl music, the one and only, Phoebe Bridgers? Her melancholy guitar chords, her gentle vocals and her dark, raw lyrics are perfect background music for your leaf-crunching, scarf-tightening walk home, the subsequent lay under a blanket or even your first hot cider sip of the season. If you’re not sure where to start with Bridgers’ music, look no further than your astrology. Below is a highly accurate list of which two Phoebe Bridgers songs you should listen to according to your Zodiac sign, compiled by an expert Pharb and Scorpio. And so, without any further ado, let’s get into it.
Aries: “Motion Sickness” and “Dylan Thomas”
Aries are bold, optimistic and short-tempered, and they somehow manage to inject fire into their every thought or action. “Motion Sickness” is a frustrated, regretful narrative backed by a fiery instrumental (the opening guitar riff just SCREAMS “fire”), and “Dylan Thomas” tells the story of being frustrated with the state of the world and wanting to emulate the famed Welsh poet’s idea of “not going gently into that good night.” Aries certainly do not go gently, and they never fail to speak their truths boldly, which is why these songs are easily the choice for this brash and beautiful fire sign.
Taurus: “Garden Song” and “Graceland Too”
Sweet, sweet Tauruses- who doesn’t love them? They make great friends, they always manage to be content, and if anything’s wrong, they manage to mask it with that sweet smile that just makes all the pain vanish. Funnily enough, these two tracks from the ‘Punisher’ album fit those categories too. “Garden Song,” like a Taurus, is a story of finally finding contentment in life, but the lyric “everything’s growing in our garden/you don’t have to know that it’s haunted” insinuates that there’s an issue or two being purposely ignored. “Graceland Too” is the wish only the best kind of friend could have for someone, a wish to be free of all of their suffering and love themselves the way the narrator loves them, and Tauruses are exactly the friends who would have this wish and do whatever their friend needs. It’s no surprise that two of Bridgers’ loveliest songs fit one of the loveliest of signs.
Gemini: “Kyoto” and “Scott Street”
Geminis have a lot of personality…well, personalities, quite honestly. Outwardly, they seem to be the kind of people who move easily from place to place, but they leave a shadow of themselves behind. “Kyoto” is a fast-paced song about a trip to Kyoto, Japan, in order to escape a troubled past, and “Scott Street” is about visiting the area in which that troubled past took place but as a new person. That conflict of being one person somewhere and another person somewhere else and struggling to fully separate these people is what perfectly suits these two songs to the Geminis.
Cancer: “Funeral” and “Waiting Room”
Cancers, or criers? Those two terms are pretty synonymous, and both “Funeral” and “Waiting Room” are songs that draw tears out as quickly as turning on a faucet. “Funeral” literally repeats the lyrics “Jesus Christ, I’m so blue all the time/And that’s just how I feel, I always have and always will.” Cancers are, however, so lovable because of their emotion, and their big and empathetic hearts are the reason they cry so much and seem so dramatic. “Waiting Room” has actually been dismissed by Bridgers as just a dramatic song she wrote as a teenager, but really, “Waiting Room” is the best unrequited love ballad to sob to. Cancers? Crying? “Waiting Room?” “Funeral?” They all fit together like a puzzle.
Leo: “Georgia” and “Sidelines”
Leos are another prime example of fierce lovers, but what defines them is their confidence and apparent fearlessness. They can be pretty dramatic, but that’s mainly because they like to be noticed, that is, they don’t want their everlasting good intentions to go amiss. “Georgia” is like the older sister song to “Waiting Room,” telling the story of an ‘I-can-fix-him’ kind of unrequited love, and if anyone has the ‘I-can-fix-him’ attitude, it’s the Leos. “Sidelines” is the song for someone who’s living fearlessly because they’re in love and are so grateful for how this has made their life better, and Leos sometimes need that love from someone else to help them live their best lives. Not to mention, Bridgers herself is a Leo, so that definitely tracks here.
Virgo: “Bite the Hand” and “Smoke Signals”
Tense, stressed and always striving for perfection, a Virgo’s humility and sympathy often goes unnoticed. Virgos get a bad reputation, and so much is expected of them that people fail to see what’s underneath. “Bite the Hand” captures that feeling perfectly. Virgos need someone else to help them release their tension and become more at ease, which is why “Smoke Signals” is fitting- it’s a thankful song about someone who helps you through a rough patch. As different as these two songs are, they both capture the facets of this wonderful earth sign.
Libra: “Ketchum ID” and “Would You Rather”
This intellectual yet extremely indecisive air sign is often dismissed, and people tend to forget just how wonderful Libras are. Similarly, people tend to dismiss “Ketchum ID” and “Would You Rather,” forgetting just how beautiful these two songs are. “Ketchum ID” has lyrics that easily put one in mind of talking to a Libra, for example, “I am never anywhere, anywhere I go” and, “you say how are you/i say i don’t know.” As for “Would You Rather,” this song is probably one of Bridgers’ darkest. Its focus on the intellectual growth that two siblings develop as they grow up and recover from trauma (particularly the lyric “next time you see me you’ll show me/a hundred different ways to see the same thing”) is what suits it to the intellectual and powerful minds of the Libras. Libras are the kinds of people who see everything and try to understand everything, which is why they come off as so indecisive and should put these songs on their fall playlists ASAP.
Scorpio: “Moon Song” and “Killer”
The most intense of the water signs, Scorpios carry so much emotion and passion that many describe them as “a lot.” And because of this, every Scorpio can relate to both “Moon Song” and “Killer”- two songs about being so strongly in love that it’s almost scary how willing you are to deal with whatever comes of it, no matter how harmful it could be. “Moon Song” is easily the most emotional song off of ‘Punisher,’ carrying the infamous lyrics “you are sick, and you’re married, and you might be dying/but you’re holding me like water in your hands.” “Killer” is probably the most underrated, emotional track on the ‘Stranger in the Alps’ album, starting with the lyrics “Sometimes I think I’m a killer/I scared you in your house/I even scared myself by talking/about Dahmer on your couch.” Scorpios truly will love until they physically can’t, and they’ll love even when they know it’s not going to end well. A Scorpio’s intensity and passion are what both entrance and intimidate everyone, just like these two Scorpio anthems.
Sagittarius: “I Know the End” and “Chelsea”
If Scorpios are the most intense of the water signs, Sagittarius is the most intense of the fire signs. Sagittarius isn’t afraid to let the world burn, they’re a little obsessive, and they’re never afraid to do what they want, knowing they’ll be remembered for their daring and reckless qualities. Therefore, it’s only natural to assign them “I Know the End,” the anthem of letting go and letting the past burn away. This song climaxes in trumpet-backed screaming chaos, during which you can just picture a Sagittarius speeding down a highway with their enemies burning away behind them. “Chelsea” is a ballad of obsession, but it tells of a driven lover who ends up being remembered more for what she did in life, just like a classic Sagittarius. Although these songs instrumentally are night and day, they both could easily be the theme songs for a Sagittarius bonfire.
Capricorn: “Savior Complex” and “ICU”
Capricorns love to achieve, but they often find themselves trapped by barriers that may or may not actually exist. Both of these tracks from ‘Punisher’ are examples of psychological missions, with “Savior Complex” being about those who actively seek out people whom they can save in order to fulfill this mission they have, and “ICU” is about the mission of getting over someone but having the barriers of still feeling something for them. Capricorns aren’t the type of people to sit back and let time do its thing, and the narratives in both of these songs share that quality. Pass some time, Capricorns, by playing these two songs for a while.
Aquarius: “Chinese Satellite” and “Demi Moore”
It’s not that Aquarius want to come off as emotionless, they just happen to. Aquarius want to feel something, but they get a little too self-reliant that they end up distancing themselves from everyone. Luckily, Bridgers wrote these two songs about wanting to feel something, and they’re nice and relatable for our winter air sign. “Chinese Satellite” is almost an existential crisis song, containing the defining lyric “I want to believe/instead I look at the sky and I feel nothing.” Along a similar line, “Demi Moore” is about not wanting to be apathetic and lonely anymore and feel good for once. Aquarius friends, let it all out with these two songs.
Pisces: “Steamroller” and “Me and My Dog”
Last but never least, our dear Pisces, the gracious, gentle, spacey people who tend to live a little more in their imagination. Pisces will immediately gravitate towards these two songs that have to do with anything other than reality because, well, imagination is always a little better. “Steamroller” is the result of imagining what would happen if you did let yourself love the person you know you could never be with, starting off with the lyric “I am tired of being sad.” Pisces don’t want to be sad, which is why they’ll space out and live in their other worlds. “Me and My Dog” was actually written by Bridgers about wanting to escape an anxiety-ridden situation and be with her beloved dog, a feeling to which all Pisces can probably relate.
While all of these songs are the ones that are best suited to each Zodiac sign, it goes without saying that all of them are ideal for a sad girl fall playlist. Taylor Swift is just one of many to say “If [Phoebe] writes it, I will listen to it,” and that’s because her music is all drawn from such a raw place. So grab your PSL, throw on your cardigan, and put in your headphones. It’s time for a fall walk, brought to you by Phoebe Bridgers.