For this, we’re going to pretend that the second movie doesn’t exist, and the first movie didn’t come out 12 years ago. Also, this isn’t every character; I don’t really think anyone has time for that. It’s all of the ones that I feel are relevant and we actually have enough information on to know their living situation and habits as an individual. I needed to do this for emotional validation, and I hope it provides you with some as well.
- Carrie Bradshaw (and Mr. Big)
As much as I love her, Carrie is so stubborn she simply doesn’t seem like the type of person to take social distancing that seriously, so she isn’t wearing a mask outside unless it’s Fendi or something. She and Big probably get takeout every day and eat it on a park bench and go window shopping in Soho, but I’d like to think they tip well.
- Charlotte York (and Harry Goldenblatt)
Charlotte is the epitome of the social distancing queen. She was doing it before it was cool. She’s definitely the one setting up the Zoom calls so everyone can stay updated on everything Lily and Rose are learning while being homeschooled. She’s also probably donating to a ton of charities right now but ones that like…teach children Morse Code or something. She’s also definitely the Facebook parent that’s sharing too many photos of their kid doing mundane things and baking a lot of banana bread.
- Miranda Hobbs (and Steve Brady and Magda)
Miranda is letting Magda quarantine with her own family, but she’s still paying her weekly and taking this break to spend quality time with Steve and Brady. Miranda is the person keeping everyone sane and scolds Carrie every time she and Big leave for another walk around the block, as well as telling Charlotte she doesn’t need to wear a mask in her own home. She’s probably learning to cook unsuccessfully, but that OK, because she’s simply a mother that’s trying.
- Samantha Jones
Samantha went home with an extreme germophobe and woke up the next morning to see news that everyone needs to be quarantined in place, and they refuse to leave her apartment. It’s the closest thing to monogamy she’s had since Jerry/Smith, and she is not a fan.
- Standford Blatch
Stanford was probably on a business trip in SoCal and has been staying in an AirBnb with his beau this whole time because he wanted to avoid airplanes. He’s able to sit in his private backyard everyday and soak up the sun because Stanford is an angel and nothing bad will ever happen to him.
- Natasha Naginsky
Natasha’s beautiful, but she just seems like a pretty unlucky gal with the whole needing-dental-surgery-after-finding-Carrie-in-her-apartment thing. I think that she got a bad case of the flu a few weeks before everything really went down in New York City and has had to be quarantined since then. She’s even more stir crazy than everyone else is. Poor gal.
- Jack Berger
He’s quarantined alone in the Hamptons, and I’d like for him to stay that way. He’s trash. Absolute trash, I tell you.
- Trey Macdougal
Let’s be honest, Trey is probably at his country home with Bunny playing tennis and drinking with their wooden mallards and plaid wallpaper to keep them safe. They’re also probably considering their wait staff essential workers. They’re the worst.
- Aidan Shaw
Aidan has become a mountain man. He took his family to his cabin upstate and is definitely living off the land. He’s prepared to ride things out until whenever this all actually ends. He’s doing really well, but that was to be expected of the best guy that’s ever happened to Carrie.
- Wade aka “Power Lad”
Wade had to move back in with his parents after his comic book idea got ripped off by Marvel. He’s definitely still on the Upper East Side and as a compromise with his mother, he uses CBD oil every day because he still hasn’t recovered after that incident with Carrie and the bucket of chicken on his parents’ balcony.
- Ray King, Jazz Musician
He doesn’t even know what’s happening. He’s just been playing jazz in his apartment this entire time.
- Skipper Johnston
He is so sweet, but so vanilla. He’s probably spending his time re-watching the entirety of “Game of Thrones.” He’s also definitely friends with Miranda on Facebook and likes all of her posts of Brady. It’s pretty cute.
- Jerry/Smith Jerrod
Jerry/Smith is a good guy with a solid head on his shoulders. He’s really nice, and I’d like to think he found a girlfriend who’s a lifestyle blogger after Sam dumped him. Now they’re quarantining together, and they started a vlog channel to document their home workouts and vegan “What I Eat in A Day” videos to help their fans cope with quarantine. I have high hopes for Jerry/Smith.
I’d like to think that all of our faves are safe and practicing social distancing, but the girls are also definitely doing Sunday brunch over Zoom and talking about their significant others in front of their faces, which is OK. It’s a national pandemic, and rules don’t matter.