HC Hofstra newcomer Raquel Cona shares her perspective this Valentine’s Day on staying true to yourself in a relationship.
By Raquel Cona
We’ve all done it—been caught sharing the wonderful deets with our girlfriends about how our guy just “makes us happy.” How, our once ever-present black cloud has now turned into ever more present rainbows and sunshine. Yes, it’s nice to have that guy to make you smile, but do you really want him to “make” your happiness? Think about it.
Being in a relationship is exciting. Your day goes from average to extraordinary within minutes of receiving that, “good morning” text. Yet, that shouldn’t be your only reason to be happy.
Let’s face it, us girls tend to put a lot into our crush/boyfriend, even our friends. And by that I mean, we tend to put all our expectations into this one person. We become fixated, sometimes dependent on that said person to provide things that maybe they simply can’t. And by that I mean, providing all around happiness. And that’s how we get hurt.
When getting into a relationship, it’s important to remember who you are. It sounds cliché but it’s something we tend to forget when becoming indulged in something.
I remember the feeling of breaking up with my boyfriend. It felt like my whole world crashed. My days were no longer exciting. I had no one to “make me happy.” But it was what a good friend of mine told me that helped me get through this breakup. She simply said, “you don’t want to be with someone to make you happy. You want to be with a person who will only enhance your happiness.”
After the breakup, I started doing things I love to do. Writing music, practicing yoga, spending time with my family. I got involved with the group exercise classes at the Fitness Center, which was a lot of fun. Meeting up to study with friends in Hammer Lab was also something that made me focus more on myself, and my grades. I started to find my own happiness again and it felt amazing. I decided to go on a “relationship detox” where I literally decided to spend a few months just doing what made me happy. And sometimes, I did it alone.
Moving forward, I now know what my friend meant by “enhancing my happiness.” I know that the next guy I want to be with is going to be someone who will enjoy doing the things I like to do, and vice versa. That being around him will only make the happiness I feel being in my own skin, even better.
That little piece of advice my friend gave me really resonated with me and I only hope to spread the wisdom.
With the lovey-dovey overload this Valentine’s Day, keep in mind that it’s important for your boyfriend/future boyfriend to see that you’ve got your own thing going on, which really makes you your own kind of beautiful.